


Falling in Love

by Lucy410



Category: due South
Genre: M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-02
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-11 11:02:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 39,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2065680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucy410/pseuds/Lucy410
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fraser is falling in love with Kowalski - this is their story</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story isn't completely canon. The first thing you'll notice is that I have Fraser living in an apartment

"Hey Frase are you coming?" Ray Kowalski aka Ray Vecchio was hanging out of his car window, craning his neck as he tried to see through an open window on the top floor of the apartment block he was parked outside of. It hadn't been hard to figure out which was Fraser's, only the Mountie would open his window when there was three inches of snow on the ground. 

"My apologies Ray."

There he was, face half-covered with shaving foam and a razor clenched in his right hand as he leant out of the opening to smile at his friend. 

"I seem to be running a little behind this morning." 

Kowalski frowned, Fraser's time keeping was usually impeccable, you could set your watch by the guy, something must be really wrong if the Mountie was running behind schedule. "What's wrong Fraser? Is Diefenbaker ill?" 

"No," Fraser looked momentarily confused, "Diefenbaker is just fine. Just give me five minutes." 

"Right Frase whatever you say." 

Fraser stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror and frowned, he hadn't liked lying to Ray but it had been necessary, ever since he had first set eyes on the slight blonde detective he had found himself watching his words. It wasn't that he didn't trust Stanley Raymond Kowalski, far from it in fact, but if he told the man what he felt - well who knew what fireworks might start flying and what he felt was... but his train of thought was interrupted by the honking horn of the car outside. 

Almost reluctantly Fraser applied the razor blade to his face, scraping away last night's beard growth. He dressed quickly, hands suddenly clumsy when it came to fastening buttons and buckles, he thrust his feet into long boots and grabbed his red serge jacket with one hand, his Stetson with the other, "Diefenbaker." But the wolf was already bounding down the stairs ahead of him, turning to bark once as if to say, 'what's keeping you?' 

"Finally," Kowalski rolled his eyes as Fraser climbed into the car. "You're going to be late for work."

"I know Ray." 

Fraser was avoiding his gaze and Kowalski started the car before asking his question, "so who is she?" A quick glimpse of Fraser's reddened cheeks showed him that he'd hit the nail on the head and he struck the steering wheel in triumph, "I knew it!" 

"It's not a woman Ray." 

"Sure it is Frase, I know the signs."

"Ray while your hunches are generally correct I am afraid that in this instance you are mistaken." 

"The more you deny it the more I know it's true." Kowalski was grinning; it wasn't very often that he got the chance to tease the Mountie. "Come on Frase, what's she like?" 

"Ray I really don't think.."

"Okay, let's start with an easy one, what colour hair has she got?" 

Benton Fraser glanced at his friend squinting at the traffic around the car and knew he wouldn't give up; perhaps it was better to tell him what he wanted to hear. 

"Why don't you just tell him the truth?" Fraser Sr had materialised in the back of Ray's car and Diefenbaker greeted him with a small whine. 

"No," was Fraser's reply. 

"No what? Come on Frase, it can't hurt to tell me what she looks like." 

"So that's the line you've been feeding him," Fraser's father looked faintly disapproving. "Tell him the truth son before it's too late." 

Fraser glanced over his shoulder in irritation but his father had disappeared. 

"Earth to Fraser," Kowalski's blue eyes were twinkling with amusement as he drew up at a set of traffic lights. 

"My apologies Ray, what was it you wanted to know?"

"Jeez Frase, whoever she is she must be amazing. I've never known you to be so distracted." 

"She is," Fraser conceded with a faint smile, "she is amazing."

"You see, now was that so hard?" Kowalski smiled and reached out to hoot his horn irritably when he was cut up. 

"Ray.." 

But Kowalski cut off his friend's piece of advice with a repeat of his earlier question, "what colour hair Frase?" 

"Blonde," Fraser admitted unwillingly.

"Eyes?"

"Blue like the winter sky," Fraser was smiling and Ray grinned in response. 

"I can't believe someone's finally broken through that cool Mountie exterior, I'd like to shake her hand, whoever she is." 

Fraser shifted uncomfortably in the car seat, "I have no objections to walking to work." 

"Oh no you don't. I'm not letting you get away that easily." One hand on the steering wheel Kowalski stretched across to lock Fraser's door. 

The Mountie could feel his face reddening and his heart quicken a beat as his sensitive nose caught the scent of Ray's shampoo and the gel he used to spike his hair and it took him a considerable effort to stop himself from reaching out and touching the man's face. 

"So," Kowalski straightened up and turned the car down a side street, "what's her name?" 

"I would really rather not say," Fraser was looking distinctly uncomfortable. 

"You're in love with her aren't you?"

"Ray I don't think this is a suitable topic of conversation." 

Kowalski slammed his foot on the brake and his car slid to a halt barely yards from a very solid looking brick wall. 

"Ray I really think you should be a little more careful, perhaps you could.." 

"Shut up Frase." 

"You do realise that this unscheduled stop will make us both late for work." 

"We were late before we started," Kowalski reminded him, "a certain Mountie overslept remember?"

"Ray I.."

"So do you love her?" 

Fraser refused to look Kowalski in the eye and the cop suddenly put two and two together. 

"You haven't told her have you? Jeez Frase, you're unbelievable."

"Ray please just take me to the consulate."

The cop looked at his friend's forlorn face and took pity on him. "Okay." 

"Ray," after five minutes of awkward silence Fraser forced himself to speak, "this isn't the way to the consulate." 

"You're real smart Fraser. I've got to pop in at the precinct, you don't mind, seeing as how I'm already running late because of you." Kowalski felt slightly guilty, he knew Fraser wouldn't try to argue him out of stopping at work now but he had something he wanted to give Fraser and he didn't want to wait until the end of the day to do it.

"Whatever you say Ray." 

The rest of the drive passed in uncharacteristic silence. Kowalski, for all intents and purposes concentrating on the road was wondering how he could persuade Fraser to open up about the woman he was so obviously obsessed with. Fraser on the other hand was furiously trying to work out the best way of preventing Kowalski from finding out the truth. He knew that if Ray did the two of them would not remain friends for very much longer and it was so hard, sitting here so close to the cop and yet knowing that to touch him would be suicide. 

Fraser could feel himself flushing and he fought to regain control of himself, no one else had ever managed to make him feel so unsure, except perhaps Victoria but he didn't want to think about her, didn't want to sully his feelings for Ray by comparing them to what he had felt for her. 

"Hey Frase! Get out of the car." Kowalski sounded almost angry and with an effort Fraser pulled himself back into the real world. 

"My apologies Ray." Kowalski grinned at him and Fraser's heart flipped over. 

"Ten minutes okay?"

"Fine."

Fraser seemed so distant and Kowalski felt a small worried frown creep across his face. "You know everything will be okay," Kowalski smiled his encouragement, "I'll even give you a few tips that'll make telling that goddess of yours how you feel a whole lot easier." 

Fraser nodded dumbly, what could he say to that? 

The precinct was as usual in what seemed like total uproar but brief silence fell when Kowalski and Fraser entered and Francesca Vecchio swayed over to Fraser, a come-to-bed smile plastered across her face. 

Effortlessly, he'd had a lot of practice, Kowalski guided Fraser away from the precinct's most predatory female and pushed him down onto his own desk. "I've just got to file a couple of reports with Welsh, you can amuse yourself with this," Kowalski couldn't hide his smirk as he pulled open a drawer and pulled out a brightly coloured cube.

"Thank you kindly Ray," Fraser accepted the gift but he was holding it as though it were about to explode. "What is it?" 

"You don't know?"

"I assume that it's some sort of ornament." 

"It's a Rubiks Cube Fraser. You mess up the colours and then try and put it back the way it was. Here," Kowalski took the cube from Fraser's unresisting hands, not noticing the Mountie's sharp intake of breath as their fingers brushed, "like this." 

"And you do this because..?" 

"It's a challenge Frase. I picked it up at a garage sale, I thought you might like it." 

Fraser accepted the cube back and tried not to show how touched he was by this simple gift. Ray had been thinking about him, cared enough about him to buy him this present. "Thank you." 

"Aw it was nothing," Kowalski smiled, "just enjoy it. Now," he had finally located his reports, "I'll just check in with Welsh." 

"You're late Detective," Welsh growled as Kowalski came into his office. 

"I've got those reports you wanted," Kowalski thrust the buff folders onto the already over-loaded desk and decided to ignore the reprimand. "Is there something else?" The young man shifted uneasily. 

"The Mountie's with you isn't he?" Kowalski nodded. "Take him to work." 

"Thank you sir."

Welsh sighed and stared after the scruffy man, it wouldn't hurt him to wear a suit and a tie for a change. 

"Frase you ready?" 

"I am indeed Ray."

Kowalski smiled and then he spotted the cube in Fraser's hands. "I meant you to play with that while I was in with Welsh, you know solve the puzzle."

"I did," Fraser sounded a little miffed, "twice." 

"You're kidding me?"

"I assure you I'm not."

Of course Fraser was telling the truth, he always did. 

"Did you ever have a.."

"It's called a Rubiks Cube Frase and yeah I had one." 

"Did you ever complete it?"

"Now you're just rubbing salt into the wound." Kowalski grabbed the cube and tossed it over his shoulder. 

"What are you doing?" 

"Throwing it away."

Kowalski was frankly surprised when Fraser dived to retrieve his present and when the Mountie climbed to his feet his face was as red as the jacket he was wearing. "It was a present from.. from you." Fraser was stammering, he never stammered! 

"Frase are you all right?" 

"Yes. I'm late for work Ray," Fraser sounded apologetic, he realised that he had overreacted and that several people were now watching him with interest. 

"The consulate right," Kowalski glanced around as if he had forgotten something, "where's your wolf?" 

Diefenbaker was sitting by the car, slowly wagging his fluffy tail back and forth, he yawned when he saw the two men and scratched the car door impatiently. 

"Lay off the car Dief," Kowalski growled, "hey Frase can't you control him a little better?" 

Being in the close quarters of the GTO with Ray was torture but it was a torture that Fraser didn't want to end. 

"The Ice Queen's gonna be pissed," Kowalski commented as he pulled up outside the Canadian consulate. 

"An accurate prediction if a little crude," Fraser allowed, "thank you for the lift Ray." 

"You're welcome Frase. Want me to come and pick you up after work?" 

"Please."

"Good," Kowalski smiled at his friend, "I'll see you later, have a good day okay?" 

"And you," Fraser put his hat on and swung his legs out of the car, "heel Dief." 

Kowalski raised a hand in salute before driving away and Fraser watched him go with a strange longing burning in his eyes. It didn't last long however because Inspector Meg Thatcher was standing by the door, arms folded and Fraser doffed his hat politely. "Ma'am." 

"You're late Fraser." Thatcher's dark hair was scraped back severely and Fraser found himself quailing before her. 

"I realise that ma'am but since I am usually.."

She cut him off with an abrupt gesture. "Guard duty Fraser." 

Obediently the Mountie took up his position outside the consulate door, it was starting to snow, soft freezing flakes drifting down from a leaden sky and Fraser felt his thoughts turning inward until they came to Ray. His face relaxed and he started to pull the man's face into his mind's eye. He saw Ray with his glasses on, they gave him a vulnerability which was very appealing to the Mountie. Ray he knew was more than capable of looking after himself and those around him but there was always a look in his eyes that seemed to say, look after me, protect me. The Mountie almost groaned, he would be more than happy to spend the rest of his life protecting Ray Kowalski, in fact the only thing he had wanted to do for some time now was to smooth away the hurt in those blue eyes, the hurt that Stella, Ray's ex-wife, had put there and what had caused Ray pain caused him pain too, not least because he knew that Kowalski was still in love with Stella and probably always would be.

"Why don't you try telling him how you feel?" Fraser Sr suggested from his seat on the snow-covered steps. 

"This is not the time," Fraser hissed through clenched teeth, "I'm at work." 

"What better time to discuss what's on your mind."

"Are you saying," unwillingly Fraser was beginning to relax his posture a little, "that you want me to tell Ray that I love him, that I've loved him since the first time I saw him?" 

"There are many different types of love Benton," Fraser Sr's gaze was direct, almost challenging, "you need to know what it is you feel for him." 

"Dad.." 

"Son you've been alone for a long time now, you need to be sure what you feel for the Yank or you could end up breaking his heart." 

"That's the last thing I want to do."

Fraser Sr stood up and brushed himself down, preparing to leave, "just don't leave it too long," and with those words of advice he vanished into the frigid air of the Chicago morning.


	2. Chapter 2

Ray Kowalski was busy with paperwork, it was the side of the job he hated most. There were folders and typed sheets of paper piled high on his desk and he just longed to shove them all off and... and what? There was nothing he could do to avoid this mountain, had already been avoiding it which was why it was as bad as it was. If only Fraser were here, he found himself wishing, the Mountie would have been able to find something else for him to do and he would have been ready for it as well, providing it didn't involve tasting anything. 

Kowalski smiled, the first time he'd seen Fraser do that he'd had difficulty believing his eyes but it was just part of Fraser's charm, just like the way he treated his wolf, as though he were another person, on a level with Fraser, the same way he treated Ray and although anyone else might have thought that comparison to a wolf should rankle, it didn't. In fact Kowalski was proud of it, it meant that he and Fraser were friends and that he was accorded the same trust and respect as Diefenbaker. Kowalski groaned though when his gaze fell back onto his desk. 

"Francesca can you get me some coffee?" There was another advantage of being friends with the Mountie, if anyone else had asked Francesca to fetch them coffee she would have lashed out with her razor sharp Italian tongue but not him. 

"Sure Ray," Francesca put a large cup down on his desk and asked hopefully, "will you be seeing Benton today?" 

"I'm taking him home after work," Kowalski acknowledged with a vague smirk, "would you like me to put in a good word for you?" 

"Please." Francesca's eyes were shining and he watched her walk away across the room, perhaps if things had been different, if she wasn't quite so hung up on the Mountie. No, Kowalski mentally shook his head, getting it on with his alter ego's sister probably wasn't ethical. Hell for all he knew in some states it might actually be illegal. 

Desperate to avoid making a start Kowalski dropped three candies into his coffee and stirred it with, for want of anything better, a broken pencil. He took a sip and grimaced, there were some occasions when he understood why Fraser never touched coffee. No more distractions presented themselves and so with a sigh Kowalski put on his glasses and opened a file, it was a case that Fraser had helped him to solve and he pushed it to one side, the Mountie's input would come in useful on this one and since the Mountie wasn't around.. 

"Detective," the voice was female and sadly unfamiliar, for the briefest of moments he had hoped it might be Stella come to see him and to beg him to take her back and despite everything that had happened he would have as well. 

"Detective Vecchio?" 

With a start Kowalski realised it was him they were calling for and he looked up straight into a pair of worried brown eyes. 

"My name's Veronica Lake," she wasted no time in introducing herself. 

She was stunning Kowalski realised as he half-rose to shake her hand, even with her long auburn hair bound in a plait, he wished now that he hadn't put his glasses on. 

"How can I help you?" Kowalski ignored the leers of fellow law-enforcers and rose to offer the woman a seat. 

"Such a little thing to bother you with," Veronica blushed and Kowalski found himself warming to her immediately. 

"Please ma'am if a crime's been committed we want to know about it," the words sounded so lame yet they brought forth the most radiant smile that the detective had ever seen. 

"My purse was snatched, just two blocks away," she smiled apologetically, "I wouldn't have thought to bother you except there were some rather important documents in it. I heard that you were the best Police officer this precinct has." 

Kowalski puffed up with pride. 

"Which is why I came to you, these documents are rather sensitive and I must get them back." 

"I'll certainly try ma'am." Kowalski smiled and pulled a blank piece of paper from a drawer, "did you get a close look at the man who stole your purse?"

"It wasn't a man," Veronica leant forward and Kowalski found himself with an eyeful of cleavage, he was quite enjoying the view when Veronica's next words caught his attention. "It was a girl." 

"A girl?"

"Yes," Veronica twisted her fingers together, "quite well dressed actually, she shoved me to the ground, grabbed my purse and ran off." 

"Is there anything in particular you remember about her?" 

"She was small, that's why I was so surprised when she managed to knock me over. She had short blonde hair and she was wearing red jeans and a blue cashmere sweater." 

"Are you sure it was cashmere?" 

"Detective," Veronica laughed, "I know cashmere when I see it." 

"And what was in the purse?"

"Credit cards, keys, my make-up, the only important things were those documents, relating to a business I'm trying to set up." 

Kowalski took down all the details, when, where, how, the whole nine yards, finally something to get him away from the dreaded paperwork. "Thank you ma'am," he stood up and shook her hand, marvelling at how warm her fingers were, "you can leave this to us now." 

"Thank you Detective," there was a distinct purr to her voice and she pushed a small card into Kowalski's fingers. "Please, keep in touch," that was a definite come-on and Kowalski returned the look, not really caring if his colleagues saw or not. 

Once Veronica had gone Kowalski looked down at his notes, the first thing that had occurred to him was that the girl had needed money but Veronica said she had been wearing a cashmere sweater, not the usual uniform of the petty criminal. Well what then? Was it possible that the girl had been after the papers? Veronica had said that she'd been on her way to see her lawyer and that she had told no one where she was going. Kowalski frowned, his fingers were cramped from writing and he stretched them until the joints cracked, glancing up he saw the clock, eleven thirty, perhaps he could persuade Fraser to take an early lunch. 

Kowalski leapt to his feet, pushed the notes he had made into the back pocket of his jeans and grabbed his gun. "Tell Welsh I'm going out," he called to Francesca not waiting for her nod. He made it to the consulate in record time, given the number of red traffic lights there had been and when he saw Fraser standing stiffly to attention he grinned, surely it wouldn't be that hard to persuade the Mountie to come to lunch. "Frase!"

It was Ray. Fraser froze, not knowing whether he was happy to see his friend or not, the man looked energised and Fraser could feel his desire waiting to burst forth. 

"It's time for lunch Fraser, come on I'm buying." 

"It's not lunch time," the Mountie corrected, eyes staring straight ahead. 

"As good as," Kowalski countered, "it's got to be better than standing outside in the cold." 

"I couldn't possibly leave my post." 

"Aw don't give me that Fraser, I've got a case I need your help on." 

"Nevertheless Ray.."

Kowalski interrupted him, "if you needed my help I'd drop everything in a second." 

That was most certainly true and granted Thatcher was already mad at him for his late arrival but did any of that really justify leaving his post, his sworn duty. Fraser was just about to explain this to Ray when he caught sight of the hang-dog expression on his friend's face and his heart melted. 

"Very well Ray, I suppose half an hour won't hurt." 

Kowalski's smile was radiant and he flung a companionable arm around the Canadian's shoulders, "I know this great little deli." 

Fraser knew his heart was beating too fast, that his breathing had quickened and he was suddenly very aware of the cop's body next to his. Ray explained the case as they walked, something that Fraser was very glad of because it enabled him to concentrate on something other than Ray's scent. When they were seated opposite each other in the deli Fraser began to ask questions. "She didn't recognise the girl who stole her purse?" 

"No."

"What did Veronica look like?"

"Jeez Frase, what has that got to do with anything?" 

"Please Ray, indulge me." Fraser listened in silence while Kowalski described the woman in great detail. "You say she told you that this girl knocked her over?" 

"Yeah that's right."

"Hmm," Fraser looked thoughtful, "while I am not saying that this girl didn't knock Ms Lake over, size is not always an accurate indication of strength, I am wondering.. your description of her was accurate?"

"Yes."

"And she came straight to you after the incident?" 

"Yes."

"She didn't stop anywhere first?"

"No. She seemed pretty shaken up."

"Did you notice her panty hose?"

"I beg your pardon?" Kowalski was shocked by the question. 

"Was it laddered or torn in any way?  
"No. Why all these questions?"

"Well you see," Fraser settled back a little in his chair and turned his cool blue eyes on Ray, "if Ms Lake had been pushed to the ground as she stated one would normally expect the result to be a somewhat disordered appearance and yet you say she looked immaculate." 

"Well I.. You're not trying to suggest that she lied to me?" 

"All I am trying to do is to ascertain the facts." 

"But why would she lie about her purse being snatched? It doesn't make any sense." 

"I suggest you ring her, perhaps ask a few more questions." Fraser wished he could have been of more help. 

Ray didn't wait to get back to the precinct to call Veronica, he called her from a pay phone only yards from where Fraser was standing rigidly to attention and suggested that they go out to dinner. 

"Yes!" Kowalski danced around in triumph before racing across the road to his car. He wasn't close enough to see the sad expression on Fraser's face or the way those blue eyes followed his car as he sped away. In fact Ray noticed very little for the rest of the day, not the knowing looks that Francesca was giving him or the dirty ones Lieutenant Welsh was giving him, even his paperwork seemed to have disappeared. All he could think about was that tonight he had a date with one of the most desirable woman he had ever seen. Kowalski didn't even notice Fraser's uncharacteristic silence as they drove back through the darkened streets to Fraser's apartment. 

"I have a day off tomorrow Ray so I won't be needing a lift." 

"Okay Frase, hope you enjoy it while I'm cooped up at work." Kowalski grinned and backed his car away from Fraser. 

The man was obviously eager for his date the Mountie realised with a sinking heart.


	3. Chapter 3

Kowalski's date with Veronica went very well indeed, she laughed at all his stupid jokes and when he tried to bring up the subject of the purse snatching insisted that she'd much rather talk about him and he told her everything. So that was how it was all evening and if he ever found himself wondering if perhaps she was a little too eager to avoid discussing the crime he pushed it away instantly and concentrated instead on the way her eyes sparkled when she laughed. Veronica ended up taking a cab home and Kowalski was impressed. She had made it clear that she was interested but sex on a first date had never really appealed to him, not unless he had no real interest in the woman. He had, he realised, as he wandered home, got none of the answers he had wanted, but he didn't care, it had been nice to forget he was a cop who saw motives and suspicion everywhere for just one night. 

He was so sure that he would dream about Veronica that night but when he closed his eyes and slept, too exhausted to even make it to his bed, he saw Fraser, eyes closed in ecstasy, shrieking Ray's name over and over again as he came. Ray sat up suddenly, why was he on the couch? Then he remembered his dream and was instantly bathed in a cold sweat, why had he been thinking of Fraser like that? He groaned and shook his head, the dream might as well have been a nightmare considering the way he felt and when next he dreamt he woke up screaming. 

It was a very tired and troubled Kowalski who stumbled into work the next morning, not even the sight of a steaming cup of coffee and a jelly doughnut on his desk could make him smile. 

"Veronica called," Francesca came over to his desk, "she says she'll pop in later." 

"Spit it out Fran," Kowalski could see there was something else on the woman's mind. 

"Have you seen Fraser today?"

"It's his day off," Ray replied a little too sharply. Jeez who would have thought a dream could have got to him like this but what a dream! He had never before thought of Fraser like that, was it possible.. no! Even the shadow of the thought made him shake. 

"Are you okay?" It was Welsh and Ray grimaced.

"I'm fine sir."

"Good, get some work done."

Kowalski frowned, work was the last thing he felt like doing but what choice did he have?   
__________________________________

Fraser was in his apartment dressed in plaid shirt and blue jeans, he was pacing nervously, Diefenbaker watching. There was something about Ray's latest case that troubled him but he couldn't quite work it out, he sighed and put a hand to his head, he had dreamt about Ray again last night but it had been like watching from across a gulf and when Ray had started screaming there had been absolutely nothing that Fraser could do about it, in a strange way it had been like watching someone else's dream. 

"He's a sensitive young man."

"Dad!"

"It is possible to see into someone else's thoughts you know." 

"What are you talking about?"

"Son you've spent months yearning for the Yank but yesterday something triggered him off, in some subconscious level he's aware of how you feel about him." 

"Dad I.."

Fraser Sr held up a hand, "he's aware of how you feel and it terrifies him." 

"How can you know this?"

"I saw his dreams last night, so did you."

"That's not possible."

"There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy Benton."

"Shakespeare? Dad!"

"I'm just trying to make my point," the ghost looked at his son with pity in his eyes, "yes he's terrified but that doesn't mean he'll reject you."

"You can't know that."

"Son when you've lived as long as I have there's precious little you don't know." 

"You're dead."

"My point exactly."

Fraser sighed and resumed his pacing.

"You're making me dizzy," Fraser Sr complained. "Why don't you go and see him?" 

"He's at work Dad."

"That's never stopped you in the past." 

Fraser halted, his father was right, perhaps seeing Ray was just what he needed. 

Fraser walked to the 27th Precinct, he had left Diefenbaker behind in his apartment, didn't want the wolf there being a distraction while he talked to Ray. However the closer he got the slower he walked, Fraser was having doubts. What excuse could he give for turning up unannounced? He could say he'd had an idea about Ray's case even though he hadn't or that he had come to see Francesca, that would please her. Fraser frowned, they were lies and he didn't lie. Although that was, he realised, no longer strictly true. Since coming to Chicago he had found that Americans told lies every day, about everything. He had done his best to remain honourable but when Detective Kowalski had erupted into his life he had found himself harbouring a secret, a secret he had been forced to protect with lies. 

Perhaps I should just see how things go, seize the moment, live a little, wasn't that what Ray was always telling him to do? Fraser allowed himself a small smile, glad that he had made a decision. He'd talk to Ray and perhaps even broach the subject of his feelings for the slight detective. He could feel an unfamiliar fluttering in his stomach but he didn't fight it, it was actually vaguely enjoyable. 

Then he saw them, Ray and Veronica Lake arm in arm and laughing with an intimacy that Fraser could only dream about. His stomach rising into his mouth Fraser stepped into a doorway so Ray wouldn't see him, he was totally taken aback by the look of sheer happiness on Ray's face, he had once hoped that he would be the one responsible for that look and as he watched the couple walk away all his dreams shattered into a million pieces. The handsome Mountie stood in the doorway close to tears for what seemed like years but then he turned. No point in going to the precinct now but he didn't want to go home, perhaps he could seek sanctuary at the consulate. 

Part way there Fraser had halted to cross the street when he saw a girl overburdened with folders and his natural gallantry stepped in. "May I help you ma'am?"

The petite blonde looked at him with withering scorn and asked, "are you some kind of weirdo?" 

"No ma'am I'm a Mountie. Benton Fraser RCMP." She laughed at that and let him help her and as Fraser took the folders from her he couldn't help noticing that she was wearing a blue cashmere sweater. "Excuse me but I couldn't help noticing your sweater." 

"It's nice isn't it? It was a present from my Grandmother, she said if I was going to live in the windy city I'd need something to keep me warm." 

"Ah," Fraser nodded vaguely and noticed the hopeful look in the girl's eyes. What was it Ray had once told him, that he was irresistible to the opposite sex? Fraser didn't believe that but he did wonder if perhaps it might be expedient to question the girl further. "Would you like to have a coffee with me?" He had heard Ray use the line before and he wasn't sure that it would work but the girl turned on her most radiant smile and said that yes she would love to have a coffee. "Good, it's this way." 

He took her to a coffee shop he had visited once with Ray, it was the only one he knew of. 

"My name's Emma," she informed him as they seated themselves in a small booth. 

"Do you live around here?" 

"No," she looked up at him, "but I work round here or at least I used to." 

"You left your job?"

"No," Emma shook her head and started to explain, "I worked for my father, he runs a small printing and photocopying business but he's being forced out." 

"Forced out?"

"Out of business. There's some big firm, real estate or something, they're forcing everyone to sell up." 

"So at least your father will have some money."

"You don't understand Ben, they're driving the neighbourhood down, chasing people away so they won't have to pay as much for the land." 

"Oh." 

"They're intimidating people left, right and centre, one of our neighbours' shops was burned to the ground because he refused to sell, now he has nothing." 

Fraser frowned, he was beginning to suspect the truth about Veronica Lake. "So is that why you ran off with Ms Lake's purse?" Emma looked startled, ready to bolt and Fraser put a hand on her arm. "There's no need to be alarmed." 

"It was in her car, she'd gone to pay for gas and I grabbed it. I knew who she was, thought maybe if I could get some evidence of what she was up to I could go to the Police." 

"What was in her purse?"

"Deeds for the properties she's already bought, contracts of sale for others including my father's but everything's above board." 

"Ms Lake told Detective Vecchio that her purse had been snatched from her on the street, why would she do that?" 

Emma shrugged, "no idea, sorry." 

Fraser downed his cup of tea and stood up, "is there a way I can contact you?" 

Hands shaking Emma scribbled down a phone number. 

"Thank you kindly, I'll be in touch." Then the Mountie was gone, leaving Emma staring blissfully off into space, all her worries momentarily forgotten.


	4. Chapter 4

Fraser headed back to the 27th, he had almost forgotten seeing Ray and Veronica together but just because it hurt didn't mean he could avoid the situation. 

"Benton!" Francesca was the last person he felt like seeing and he turned to leave but it was already too late, with one possessive hand on his arm she dragged him further into the building. "So Benton what brings you here?"

"Actually I was looking for Ray. Is he here?" 

"No but I'll keep you company until he gets back. He went out with Veronica Lake," Francesca lowered her voice confidentially, "they could be some time you know." 

Fraser wanted to scream but as usual he controlled his feelings and turned on his blandest smile, "perhaps I could trouble you for a cup of tea?" 

"Of course Benton, you just wait here." Francesca had seated him at Ray's desk he noted with a pang. The piles of paper however made him smile, Ray was as disorganised as it was possible for a cop to be. A scrap of paper was half lost on the edge of the desk and Fraser's hand closed over it. 'Beers with Frase?' it read and he smiled again, that question mark reeked of poignancy, he knew that Kowalski was concerned that he and Fraser were not as close as Fraser had been with Vecchio, if only he knew how much closer I want to be. 

Fraser frowned, of course that was part of the problem, his longing to enfold Ray in his arms and tell him that he loved him, not as a friend or a brother but with a passion that burned so brightly he was amazed that no one could see it, had driven them further apart. Someone had once said that the path of true love never ran smooth, they could have been talking about me, Fraser reflected glumly. 

"There's nothing quite like a nice cup of tea is there?" Francesca was at his side again and Fraser smiled vaguely. 

"Perhaps I could leave a note for Ray," Fraser was looking around for a pencil. "You said you thought he was going to be a while." 

Her eyes flickered desperately. "Well I could be wrong, I think he asked Veronica to show him where her purse was taken." 

That reminded Fraser why he had come. "I think I can wait a little longer." 

"Great," Fran settled herself down on the edge of Ray's desk. "Maybe you could tell me one of those Eskimo stories." 

"It's Innuit," Fraser explained trying hard to come up with an excuse when it walked in the door. "Ray!" 

"Hey Frase," Veronica wasn't with him. "I didn't expect to see you today." 

"No, well I was passing and thought I'd drop by." 

Was that a note of tension in Fraser's voice? No it couldn't be. "It's good to see you Frase," Kowalski dug the notebook out of his back pocket and tossed it down amidst the chaos. "You came here for a reason didn't you?" Kowalski grinned. "Don't get me wrong I've not come over all intuitive but I've never known you not to have a reason." 

"You are correct Ray," Fraser could say the words in his head but he couldn't ever imagine saying them out loud, I did have a reason for coming here, I wanted to tell you how much I love you, how I've always loved you, how it's only you who can repair the ruin that is my heart. But of course he didn't say that, instead, "I've found something out about Veronica I thought you might be interested in." 

"Spit it out Frase."

"I.. I don't think you're going to like it Ray." 

Kowalski sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Closet," he suggested. 

"I beg your pardon?"

"Isn't that what you and he used to do every time you had something private to discuss? Frannie?" Ray appealed to the woman. 

"Yep."

"Very well," Fraser stood, walked to the closet and pulled open the door. "After you Ray." 

"No after you."

"Thank you kindly."

Being enclosed in the small dark space wasn't the easiest thing for either man. Ray was just the tiniest bit claustrophobic, although he'd never admit it to anyone, and he found himself fighting to control his panic. Fraser too was panicked, though for a different reason. Standing this close to Ray, the man's scent was overwhelming and he fought to stay focused, to remember exactly why he and his friend were confined like this. 

"What is it Fraser? What did you find out?"

"Veronica Lake is a crook. She's buying up property in Chicago." 

"There's no law against that."

"If anyone refuses to sell she threatens them until they do."

"How do you know all this, some sort of sixth-Mountie sense?" 

"I met the purse-snatcher today."

"You what? Did you bring her in?"

"No," Fraser replied calmly, "while Emma did.."

"Hold it Frase. Her name's Emma, what else do you know about her?" 

"I have her phone number."

"Only you Frase."

"I'm not quite sure I understand what you mean by that comment Ray, but to return to my point Emma told me that she took the purse from Ms Lake's car." 

"That's not true.”

"It depends on whose story you believe."

"It's crazy Fraser. Why would Veronica say her purse was snatched on the street when it was taken from her car and if she's intimidating people why don't they come to us?" 

"They're scared Ray. There has to be something else going on here." 

The Mountie fell into silence and now all Kowalski could hear was the beating of his own heart. "Fraser!" He couldn't help it, the words were an anguished wail and suddenly he found himself clinging onto the Mountie's jacket with both hands. Fraser had frozen, Kowalski's face was tantalisingly close to his own, he could feel Ray's breath on his face and he fought a sudden urge to kiss the man. 

"Are you all right Ray?"

"Claustra.. claustra.." Ray was gasping, caught up in one of the most severe panic attacks he had ever experienced. Fraser was relieved, the moment of madness was over and so he kicked the closet door open and let Ray tumble out, he then pushed Kowalski firmly into a chair and forced his head down between his knees. Ray struggled and Fraser exerted a little more pressure. 

"Breathe Ray, that's right breathe." 

Kowalski reached out and grabbed Fraser's leg, it was like grabbing a tree trunk. "Thank you." 

"If you like we could return to our conversation."

"Okay," Ray held up a hand, "there are only two things I've got to say to you, one Veronica's not a criminal and two I'm not getting back in that closet." 

"Understood," Fraser's eyes were thoughtful. 

Kowalski groaned, "what now?"

"I wondered if I might have access to your computer system. There's something about Ms Lake that troubles me." 

"Be my guest Frase but you're not gonna find anything.”

"That may be so Ray but I should look anyway." 

"All right but if it turns out she is a criminal I'll buy a bone for Diefenbaker every day for the next month." 

"And if I'm wrong?" 

"You tell that mystery woman of yours exactly how you feel about her. Deal?" 

"Deal." They shook hands solemnly.   
_____________________________________

Fraser was suddenly aware of how late it was, Ray's shift had long since finished and the detective had left, Lieutenant Welsh too had gone after numerous caustic remarks about Fraser having nothing better to do, only Frannie had hung on and she looked about ready to drop where she stood. He hadn't yet found what he was looking for and could have stayed up all night but he realised with a sigh that if he didn't leave she wouldn't either. "I think that's enough for one day," Fraser flicked off the computer and picked up his hat. "Goodnight Francesca." And with that he disappeared into the night. 

It was midnight by the time he got back to his apartment and Diefenbaker refused to even acknowledge his presence. Fraser knew there was no point in arguing with the wolf but not even the extra large supper he served Dief could persuade the wolf to look at him. 

"Ingrate." Fraser strode across the apartment, shedding his clothes as he went and pausing to yank open a window. He had just pulled on his red pyjamas when his sharp ears picked up the sound of someone stumbling about below his window, he leant out but there was no discernible shape out there. Now stumbling footsteps were coming up the stairs and despite his state of undress Fraser pulled his door open, picking up the scent of alcohol long before Ray came stumbling up to him.

"Hey Frase," he had a wine bottle in one hand and his trench coat was smeared with mud and snow where he had fallen. 

"Ray you've been drinking."

"You like stating the obvious don't you." Ray stumbled then and Fraser had to step forward to catch him. The wine splashed from the bottle soaking Fraser's feet but he didn't complain, simply slung Ray across his shoulders and carried him into the apartment. 

"Why Ray?" Fraser lowered Kowalski down onto his bed and then helped him into a sitting position. 

"Frase, you know how it is, everyone's got to have a blow out once in a while."

"Blow out?"

"Yeah you know, go out, get drunk, party with your friends. Hey nice apartment Frase." 

"Thank you Ray," he smiled down at Kowalski before walking into the other room. When he returned Ray was flat on his back, blue eyes staring at the ceiling and he was laughing. "Here," Fraser pulled Ray up and wrapped an arm around his shoulders to steady him, "drink this."

"What is it?"

"Water."

"Don't want water, want wine."

"You spilt it," Fraser tried to manoeuvre the glass to Ray's lips but the cop pushed it away with an unsteady hand. 

"Beer?" He looked up at Fraser with bloodshot eyes.

"I don't drink Ray as you well know."

"Don't you.. don't you ever have anyone over who drinks?"

"No," Fraser replied simply, "drink the water Ray." 

Kowalski pouted but he did at least drain the glass.

"Now I suggest some sleep might.."

"Don't wanna sleep," Ray stood up, swaying a little, "I want to dance. Got any music?" 

"I have an old radio set." 

"Good. Put it on Fraser then come dance with me. I know you dance." Ray started to move his body about even before Fraser had switched his radio on. 

The Mountie watched his friend dance, surprised at how graceful the man was, even when drunk, his wiry body swaying in time to the beat. Fraser swallowed nervously, Ray had never looked more desirable but he held himself back, if something happened tonight, here in this apartment he would never know whether or not it was just the drink talking. 

"Dance with me Frase." Unwittingly Fraser stepped forward and Ray smiled at him, "do you waltz?" 

The man's arms encircled Fraser's waist and he leant his body against the Mountie's. Fraser, held his breath as he danced with his friend, he could feel an erection growing and knew it wouldn't be too much longer before Ray noticed. There it was, that look of vague confusion, the look that Fraser had dreaded but Ray kept dancing and because he didn't loosen his hold on Fraser's waist the Mountie kept dancing as well. They danced for what seemed like an eternity before Ray flopped down onto the bed. "I'm tired Fraser." 

"You should get some sleep," Fraser sank down next to Kowalski and began to unlace the man's shoes. 

"You like me don't you Frase?" 

"Of course I like you. You're my partner, my friend, " oh but he wished he could add the words my lover.

"It's just sometimes," here it came, the worries that dogged Kowalski every minute he was with the Mountie, "well I'm no substitute for Vecchio." 

You're so much more, Fraser found himself wanting to say, I never felt about Ray Vecchio the way I do about you, he never made my heart skip a beat just by coming into a room, he never sought me out the way you do, never came to me with his problems like you do, never made me feel as wanted as you do but he couldn't say any of that so instead he just smiled and said, "Ray Kowalski you are a true friend." 

"Good," Kowalski began to laugh again and didn't protest when Fraser pulled off his shirt and his pants and pulled a blanket over him. "Frase?"

"Yes," Fraser was laying out his bed roll although he was sure he wouldn't be able to sleep with Ray lying so close. 

"Thank you." 

"You're welcome Ray, sweet dreams."

"You too Frase."

Fraser doused his hurricane lantern and looked down at Kowalski's features softly illuminated by the moonlight, then in deference to his unexpected guest he closed his bedroom window and pulled the curtains across, shutting out the night. As he settled down he heard Ray mutter something under his breath. Fraser lay flat on his back and listened while Ray's breathing deepened and slowed and then he too fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

He awoke to the sound of screaming, it was an almost unearthly sound, pitched a couple of octaves higher than Ray's normal speaking voice. 

"Ray?" Concerned Fraser pulled himself up onto the bed but his friend didn't hear his gentle concern, he was still caught up in sleep. "Ray." Gently Fraser shook him awake, his arms slipping around the man as he waited for the night terrors to subside. 

"Fraser." Kowalski clutched at his friend. 

"It's all right Ray, I'm here." Fraser pulled Ray's head down until it was resting on his chest, then he started to rock the man, crooning a lullaby. "It's an old Innuit lullaby," he replied, answering Ray's unspoken question. "It's reputed to have the power to drive away bad dreams and help promote sleep." 

"Does it work?"

Fraser considered the question. He had lost count of the number of times he had fallen asleep with the magical words on his lips and he had always slept better for it. "Yes Ray, I believe it does," but when he made to release his friend Ray held onto him even tighter than before. Fraser could barely suppress a groan, Ray's chest was pressing against his, he could feel every contour of the man's body next to his and slowly he raised one hand and began to rub it slowly across the man's chest. 

When Kowalski spoke his voice was a croak, "is this an old Innuit tradition as well?" "No," Fraser shook his head, "I'm just doing this because it feels good." 

Kowalski's eyes opened wide but despite the fear flickering in their cool depths he didn't pull away. 

Fraser continued his caresses and then growing bolder he began to move his hand downward. He felt it at once, felt Kowalski stiffen as though he had just been turned into stone and he removed his hand with a murmured apology. 

"I can't.." Ray avoided Fraser's gaze, "I can't do that." 

"It's all right Ray, I understand," but Fraser's eyes were full of hurt but when he made to return to the floor Ray stopped him. 

"Please Frase stay with me," there was a tremor of fear in his voice and Fraser nodded slowly. He waited until Ray was comfortably sprawled on the bed and then he curled his arms and legs around his warm body and fell asleep.   
_________________________________

Kowalski's first thought on waking was to wonder why there was a heavy weight on top of him, then he opened his eyes and saw it was Fraser. Oh my.. Ray put a hand to his head and it was then he realised just how bad his hangover actually was. 

"Morning Ray," Fraser's blue eyes looked down warmly into his but the Mountie made no attempt to move. 

"Fraser," Ray forced enough air into his lungs to enable him to speak, "have you got any painkillers?" 

He gasped with relief when Fraser climbed off him and padded away into the bathroom. The memories of last night were a little hazy but what he could remember scared him, had he really allowed Fraser to hold him like that, to touch him like that? It had felt nice but at the same time had scared him witless. He had never thought of Fraser like that before, had never allowed himself to think of Fraser like that. 

"Last night," Kowalski croaked as Fraser handed him a glass of water and two small white tablets, "did that really happen?" 

"Yes Ray."

Ray acted like Fraser hadn't spoken. "Only I wouldn't want you to think that I get that drunk every night." 

"I don't." 

"Good," Kowalski squinted up at Fraser and went to stand up but when he realised he was clad only in a pair of boxers he sank back down again. 

"What else do you remember Ray?" Fraser didn't really want to talk about last night but he had to, ignoring what had happened would only drive a wedge between them.

"I don't want to talk about it." Ray's face closed up and Fraser tried again. 

"What do you remember?" 

"I had a dream, a nightmare. When I woke up you were holding me, it.. it felt nice." 

"But you pulled away from me." 

"It's complicated Frase, I can't do the things that you would want me to." 

"Is it because you don't find me attractive?"

"Jeez Frase, you're the most attractive man I've ever met. You're top of my men I must sleep with list, hell you're the only man I could ever imagine being with." 

"And that's good?" The Mountie sounded so damn unsure of himself that Ray, despite his fears, reached out and took his hands. 

"There is no woman is there Frase? It was me you were describing the other day, wasn't it? Me who's got you so distracted that you'd actually consider turning up late for work?" 

Fraser nodded, this wasn't how he had imagined telling the tough detective how he felt but he supposed it was at least a start. 

"Ben," Ray's use of his first name made his insides warm but that feeling was taken away again by the cop's next words, "I wish I could tell you that I feel the same way. I wish I could stretch over and kiss you and that we'd spend the rest of the day making love in your bed." 

Fraser's throat was dry, "you don't feel the same way?"

"That's the problem Fraser I think I do." The Mountie opened his mouth but Ray stopped him. "I have no idea what it feels like when you love a man but what I felt for Stella.. ah.. I do love you." Fraser wanted to say a million things in response to that but he was suddenly incapable of forming coherent sentences. "It's just.. there are things you don't know about me Fraser."

"You can tell me."

"You couldn't handle it."

The Mountie looked as if he had been slapped in the face. "Ray I love you." 

There was a look of immeasurable grief on Ray's face. "That's what Stella said before I told her and it ended up driving us apart." 

"Ray.." 

"No Frase, I'm not going to risk our friendship like that. I nearly died when Stella left me, I don't think I could stand it if you left me as well." 

"I would never do that," but Fraser could see that Ray didn't believe him and that the pain in his eyes was stronger than ever. 

"I can't tell you Fraser. I've never met anyone who could handle the truth." He paused, looked up at Fraser and tried to smile, "but we're still friends right?" 

"Of course."

"Good. Now then Fraser, what's for breakfast? I'm starving." 

Fraser smiled at Kowalski's sudden mood change. Ray's mercurial temperament had been difficult to cope with at first but Fraser was used to it by now, even liked it. As he searched his fridge for food and started the bacon cooking he found his thoughts turning to Victoria - the only woman he had ever loved. She too hadn't trusted him, not fully, even though he'd been prepared to sacrifice everything for her, his job, his values, his friendship with Ray Vecchio, even Diefenbaker. Fraser paused and leant his head against the window, would he do all that for Ray? Could he in an instant turn his back on everything he knew for the man he loved? Yes, he realised he could, but then he remembered with a sinking heart that Ray didn't want him. Diefenbaker seemed to sense his unhappiness and pushed his nose against the Mountie's legs. 

"Morning Dief," Fraser gave the wolf a piece of bacon and a solemn pat on the head. 

"Fraser," it was Ray, fully dressed although his feet were bare, "how are you?" 

"I'll live," he smiled and holding his breath reached out to ruffle Ray's disordered blonde hair. 

"Tell me about Victoria." 

A look of intense pain flitted across Fraser's face and he turned away, putting food onto plates. "What do you know about her?" 

"Not much. I know she shot Diefenbaker and that Vecchio shot you when she was trying to escape. Do you wish you were with her now?" 

"Ray," Fraser smiled, "this morning I told you I loved you and even though you said what you said I don't want to be anywhere else but here, with you." Ray swallowed nervously, "Frase.."

"There's no need to explain."

The two friends looked at each other and Fraser realised that his words had, as he'd feared, driven a wedge between them, Ray's eyes were secretive, so unlike the usual openness of the cop. 

"Veronica cancelled our date last night," Ray looked up straight into Fraser's startled blue eyes. "Did you find anything yesterday?" 

"No." 

"I'll help you look," Ray promised, "there is something strange going on here, it's just a hunch but.." 

"Your instincts, as I think I've pointed out in the past, are generally correct." Fraser smiled, he had wondered whether he was doing the right thing in telling Ray his real feelings and still wasn't sure but last night the man had seemed so vulnerable, whatever it was that Ray wouldn't tell him about must be truly terrible, but he told me he loved me, Fraser smiled, he'll open up to me eventually. 

"Hey Frase are you okay?"

"I'm fine, thank you kindly." Fraser considered something for a moment, "where's your car?" 

"It's parked around the corner." 

"You drove here?"

Kowalski could hear the disapproval in his friend's voice, "don't give me a lecture Frase." 

"Drink driving is a serious offence." 

"Okay Frase you can read me chapter and verse of that particular law later. We've got a mystery to solve remember?" 

"Understood." 

Was that a look of relief on Fraser's face, he had no idea. All he did know was that it must have taken a lot for the cool and collected Mountie to admit his true feelings. "You know Fraser," Ray put a hand on the man's bare arm, letting it linger just a little longer than was necessary, "I'm glad we're friends." The radiant smile he received in return was more than enough to compensate him for the tremor of fear that had shaken him when his fingers had made contact with Fraser's bare flesh. He's my friend, my partner, Ray reminded himself sternly, he would never do anything to hurt me. 

"Just let me get dressed." 

Fraser turned to go back to his bedroom and Ray shouted after him. "What about the Ice Queen? Don't you have to check in with her or something?" 

"Not necessary, I took the precaution of taking a few days leave." 

"Precaution?" 

"Yes Ray, I wanted to make sure I would be available if you needed my assistance.”

"Oh," that was all Ray said but Fraser could hear the appreciation behind that single syllable. 

"Think nothing of it Ray."


	6. Chapter 6

Everyone looked up when the two men, blonde and dark, walked into the 27th, there was an air of palpable tension between them and Frannie, wearing the shortest leather skirt Ray had ever seen, looked at them curiously. Fraser soon found what he was looking for and he called Ray over to his side. "That's Veronica."

"Wrong. It is in fact Mary Reilly, she was arrested five years ago on charges of extortion and intimidation but the charges had to be dropped because no one was willing to testify against her." 

"So pretty much what she's doing now," Ray nodded grimly, "I'll go and talk to her." Then the phone rang, "Vecchio." Ray listened without twitching a muscle. "I'll be there." Then he turned to Fraser, "apparently your little friend Emma has managed to persuade her father to talk to us. They want to meet with me." 

"When?"

"In an hour. Are you going to come with me?" 

Fraser nodded thoughtfully, "I believe I will." 

The shop was deserted, almost eerily quiet and Ray fought hard to quell the apprehension rising in his stomach. 

"This is Emma's father's shop?" Half a step behind Fraser spoke first. 

"That's where he said he wanted to meet."

Fraser nodded, "I think we've been mislead Ray. There aren't enough power points in here for it to have been used for printing, also Emma told me her father was only recently driven out of business." 

"So he took his equipment out in a hurry."

"Ray, notice the dust on the floor, this building hasn't been occupied for at least eight months." 

Just at that moment a stentorian voice bellowed out, "stand still." 

Ray glanced around to see that there were four burly men approaching from the back of the shop, two more from the front and the slight detective gulped nervously. 

"Throw your gun over here." There was a flash of metal in one pair of hands and Ray tossed his gun away. 

Then they were on him, three of the men had Fraser by the arms and Ray howled at them, "leave him alone you bastards." 

The reply froze the blood in his veins, "it's not him we came here for," the speaker stepped forward and raised his fists, "we're here to make sure you keep away from Veronica." 

Ray didn't have time to protest before the thugs were on him, punching him brutally to the ground and he couldn't remember anything else. In fact the next thing he was aware of was a pair of gentle hands lifting his bruised head and of compassionate blue eyes looking down at him. 

"I'm sorry."

"What are you apologising for Fraser?"

"I failed to protect you."

"What could you have done? There were too many of them." 

"I should have done something."

Ray tried to smile but winced instead, "don't make me have to hit you Fraser." 

"I think we should go to the hospital." 

"No!" Ray was adamant, "how bad can it be?" 

"Well," Fraser sat back on his heels, "your face is badly bruised, you may have lost a tooth," he paused and ran his hands across Ray's chest but with concern this time not desire, "I think you may have cracked a couple of ribs and there could be some internal bleeding." 

"Great," Ray closed his eyes and let his head fall back onto Fraser's lap. "I'd really like to pass out now." 

"Ah," Fraser titled his head to one side, "I believe help is on the way." 

Help turned out to be detectives Huey and Duey and for once Ray was pleased to see them. 

"We were told there was a break-in," Huey said, bending forward to get a closer look at Ray's battered face. 

"How do I look?"

"Your own mother wouldn't recognise you." 

"We were lured here," Fraser told them, "three men held me while Ray was beaten up." 

"Descriptions?"

"They were your usual thugs for hire," Ray muttered sourly, "they'll be miles away by now." 

Duey shook his head, "we should get you to a hospital." 

"Thanks but I'm fine," Ray pulled himself upright and hissed through his teeth, "see?" Fraser who had stood up with him grabbed his hand as the man wavered on his feet. "Frase I'm fine," he yanked his hand away from the Mountie, very conscious of the two detectives who were there. Then, with a groan of realisation, Ray felt his legs giving way and he tumbled back onto the floor. Huey and Duey exchanged looks with Fraser and the three of them simultaneously reached down to haul Ray to his feet. 

"Hospital," they chorused as one and dragged Ray to the door. 

After an hour in the ER Ray was getting increasingly restless, the wave of dizziness had passed and apart from the pain when he breathed he was starting to feel a lot better. One of the nurses, tall and dark-haired, seemed to have taken a shine to him and she was just running her hands across his ribcage apparently to check for cracked ribs when Fraser appeared at his side. Ray saw the flash of anger in the man's eyes, gone in an instant and he repressed a smile, the Mountie really did care for him after all. 

"How are you feeling?" Fraser ignored the nurse and stepped closer to Ray. 

"Better, a lot better. Have you spoken to Welsh yet?" 

"The Lieutenant wants you to take the rest of the day off." 

Ray groaned, "come off it Fraser, it's not like I'm badly hurt." 

The nurse chose that moment to butt in. "You've been very badly beaten Detective, you've yet to go into shock and there could be other injuries as well." She picked up Ray's chart and made a note, "I'll think I'll order an x-ray." 

"Whoa!" Kowalski's hand shot out and grabbed the nurse's wrist. "No x-rays okay. I don't want you turning me into some kind of freaky monster with all that radiation." 

The nurse looked thoughtful, "the chances of you mutating as a result of an x-ray are relatively tiny." 

"Relatively?" Ray looked about ready to jump off the gurney and Fraser put a calming hand on his shoulder. 

"I believe she's teasing you Ray." 

"I knew that," Kowalski claimed.

The nurse smiled and turned away, "I won't be long." 

"You take your time." Ray shouted after her, then he looked at Fraser with despair, "tell me why I'm still here." 

"For your own good." Fraser's eyes were sparkling and Kowalski glowered at him. 

Over at the doctors' station several pairs of eyes were watching the cop and the Mountie with interest. 

"Vecchio's not at all bad looking," one nurse commented.

"I love Italians," another one chipped in. 

"He's as Italian as I am," a tall thin doctor with glasses spoke up, "and he's gay." 

"Oh no," the dark-haired nurse vehemently denied his words, "there's no way he's gay." 

"Look at the body language, those two are a couple."

"Maybe not quite a couple," a doctor whose dark hair was lightly flecked with grey commented. "Look how they're keeping a deliberate distance from each other." 

"What are you saying? That they're a couple but not a couple?" 

"There's definitely some electricity there." 

The sparks might have been flying off the walls for all Ray cared, all too aware of the loaded looks he was getting from Fraser. Dammit he's just being a concerned friend, at least that's how everyone else will see it, so why can't you? Kowalski couldn't because of what had happened that morning when Fraser had told Ray that he loved him and Ray had... well I might as well have slapped him in the face. 

Fraser had gone momentarily at least to get Ray a coffee and taking advantage of the moment Kowalski swung his legs off the gurney. He was by no means the most badly hurt patient in the ER and as such no one was taking any real notice of him. Hopping on one leg he pulled his boots on and grabbed his jacket, his gun had been left behind in the shop and he hoped that Huey had picked it up; he didn't really want all the paperwork that went along with a missing gun. 

Fraser I'm not hurt, I'm leaving, look I feel fine, Ray tried the words out in his head but somehow he doubted they would convince the Mountie and so he hurried towards the exit, head down and looking, he belatedly realised, decidedly shifty. He had reached the doors and was just about to pull them open when he heard a low warning growl. Diefenbaker. 

"Hey Dief," Ray reached down to pet the wolf, "nice dog," another growl. 

Kowalski was just about to try inching his way past Dief, surely Fraser's dog wouldn't hurt him, when he heard a voice calling, "Ray.. Ray." 

The man groaned and made a sudden dash for the doors but the next thing he knew he was flat on his back on the floor, Diefenbaker snarling at his throat. "Fraser!" Ray was too concerned about Dief's jaws near his jugular to worry about the fact that he had become the centre of attention. 

"Dief down." The crowd gasped as Fraser closed his hand over the wolf's muzzle and stared him straight in the eyes. 

"Must be some weird Canuck magic," a voice from the crowd was heard to say. 

Fraser made the decision that discretion was most definitely the better part of valour. "I think it's about time we left." 

"Now you're talking my kind of language," Ray approved.

"Your kind of language?" Fraser questioned as he held open the door for Diefenbaker. "Your language is, as is mine, English and while I admit that there are some cultural differences, pronunciation, use of slang.." 

"All right Frase, cut the lecture, it was just an expression." 

"Ah."

"You know you amaze me sometimes Fraser," Ray commented as he climbed into the GTO, "you come across as being naive and all when in reality you're one of the most clued up guys I know." 

"Actually Ray.." 

"One of the most clued up," Ray continued, ignoring Fraser's interruption, "and definitely one of the most attractive." Silence. For once the Mountie was lost for words and Ray might have enjoyed that fact were he not feeling terribly afraid. "Cos you know," Ray started the engine, all the while babbling like some kid on a first date, "I've always thought so. The dark hair, the broad Mountie shoulders. You've been a good friend to me Fraser and I'm not just saying that cos of this morning, I'm saying it because it's true. I don't know how you do it but when you're around everything else is just background." 

"Ray.." 

"Don't interrupt me Frase, I'm on a roll here, I.." 

"Ray!" The note of warning jerked Kowalski back into reality and he had just enough time to slam on the brakes before the GTO collided with a very solid-looking brick wall. 

"Where are we?" 

"Downtown Chicago I believe. You know you really should be one hundred percent focused on the road whilst driving." 

"You're very distracting Fraser." A wave of fear swept Ray and his hands tightened their grip on the steering wheel. It was now or never. "No more lectures," Kowalski insisted as he lunged forward and kissed the Mountie on the lips. 

"Understood." Fraser had barely had time to register the fact that the kiss was real let alone to respond to it but he could still feel the warm imprint of Ray's lips on his own. "Thank you," the words of sentiment were desperately inadequate but Fraser couldn't think of anything else to say. 

"Don't thank me yet Frase, you have no idea what you're getting into." 

"I think I do Ray," Fraser's eyes were shining and he looked so happy that Ray groaned and pulled himself back. 

"We need to take this slowly," Ray enunciated the words clearly and Fraser caught his breath when he saw the look in the man's eyes. 

"Understood." But Fraser had to return that kiss. He moved towards Ray carefully, not wanting to startle the man and placed his lips on Ray's, he hadn't expected a response but he got one, parted lips allowed Fraser's tongue entry and Fraser lent into the kiss, willing the wiry body quivering next to his to relax, but if anything Ray became more tense. 

His response to Fraser's lips on his own was scaring him, he could feel his body responding but broke the contact anyway. "Let's get a pizza," Ray suggested, avoiding Fraser's gaze, "we can go back to my apartment and.." he stopped when he realised that his words could be misconstrued. "Let's go back to the 27th." 

"Lieutenant Welsh said.." 

"I don't care what Welsh said. We've got a case to solve." 

"Whatever you say Ray."

"Thank you Fraser," Kowalski paused, ignoring the kiss wouldn't make it go away, "we'll talk about this later okay?" 

"Whenever you feel comfortable with it."

Kowalski almost groaned, why did the Mountie have to be so damn reasonable all the time? 

"I thought I said take the day off," Welsh's indignant roar managed to distract Ray from wondering why the Mountie was walking so close, like some kind of guard dog, he thought irritably, as he noticed Diefenbaker padding along on the other side. 

"Yes sir," Kowalski faced a bristling Welsh, "but we've got a case.." 

"Huey and Duey are on it," Welsh told him, "you're personally involved." 

"Sir.." 

"No arguments Vecchio."

"No sir."

"A word please Fraser." Lieutenant Welsh ushered the man into his office and then turned to face him, arms folded across his chest. "What's going on Constable?" 

The memory of his lips locked against Ray's flashed guiltily across his mind. "I'm afraid I'm not quite sure what you mean." 

"There's something bothering Vecchio, hell I think there's something bothering both of you. You walked into that set-up today without a second thought and when cops report for work covered in bruises people start asking questions." 

"Things have been a little fraught lately," the Mountie admitted, "perhaps a holiday.." 

"Great idea Constable, now get Vecchio out of here." 

"You've got five minutes to get out of here Detective," Welsh yelled past Fraser and Ray looked up at the Mountie with accusation in his eyes. 

"All right Fraser," Ray gathered up an armful of papers and jerked his head towards the door, "let's go." 

"And Vecchio," Welsh's voice brought the two friends to a halt, "I don't want to see your ugly mug in here for at least a week or I'll have you arrested."


	7. Chapter 7

Ray made no further comment, simply walked out of the district with his head down, he climbed moodily into his car and started the engine, even before Fraser and Diefenbaker had climbed in. 

"Is something wrong Ray?" 

Kowalski twisted in his seat to look at his friend, "you really are terribly naive sometimes Fraser." Then Ray swooped forward, his lips hard and demanding and Fraser almost quailed under the assault. 

"Ray."

But Kowalski silenced the protest with another kiss not caring that someone might see them. 

"Ray." 

His name was like a caress but when Fraser started to push his hands up underneath Ray's t-shirt the man pulled away. "So are we going on holiday?" He smiled, trying to soften the rejection a little. "Where do you want to go?"

"The bank," Ray suggested, "I need some money." 

"There's an atm across the street."

"Yeah I know, it ate my card," Ray grimaced. 

"Oh." Fraser smiled as Ray pulled out into the traffic, "Ray I.." 

"Don't say it Frase. I'm having enough problems with this okay?" 

"Yes," Fraser frowned, "it's to do with the thing you mentioned this morning isn't it?" 

"Yeah."

"Are you going to tell me about it?"

"No Fraser. I told you I'm not going to let my past come between us like it did between me and Stella." 

"So it's something that happened to you a long time ago?"

"Stop digging Fraser, I'm not gonna tell you." 

"Understood."

Pulling into the carpark Kowalski growled out, "I'll be five minutes." He raced through the bank doors, suddenly eager to get away from Fraser and never the most patient of people he fidgeted in the queue, what the hell was taking so long? 

"I'm afraid we can't access your account sir." 

"What?" Kowalski's reaction was as explosive as always. "Why not?" 

"Insufficient funds," the bank clerk looked so smug that Kowalski had to resist the urge to hit him. 

"Insufficient funds? I just got paid!" Blue eyes sparked with anger and the clerk moved back from his desk. 

"You could see the manager." 

"Great idea, where's his office?" 

"Top floor."

"That figures," Ray groaned. He didn't wait for the clerk to say anything else just turned and raced towards the stairs. 

"I'm afraid there's someone in there," a secretary informed him, "if you'd like to take a seat." 

Kowalski shot her a look of pure contempt and began to pace up and down the plush carpet. I hope I wear holes in it he thought savagely. 

Downstairs Fraser had entered the bank, Ray's five minutes were up but he couldn't see the detective anywhere. "Excuse me ma'am," the bank clerk blushed, "you haven't seen a blonde spiky-haired young man have you? About so tall and probably scowling?" 

She nodded, simpered and said, "he went up to see the manager."

"Thank you kindly." 

There was a sudden commotion from inside the manager's office and Ray smiled grimly, perhaps someone else was having trouble accessing their account. The office door swung open and Ray groped instinctively for his gun, which of course wasn't there, as a burly man, sawn-off shotgun in hand, emerged from the office, clutching the bank manager to him. 

He stared in surprise at Kowalski, "hands up! Now you," he told the bank manager, "are going to open the vault for me." 

"Ray?" The voice was getting louder, dammit that was Fraser. 

The thug had heard the call as well and he turned his gun towards the doors as Fraser bounded through them. Almost in a dream Kowalski saw the finger on the trigger tighten and without thinking he threw himself in front of Fraser. 

"Ray!" 

The voice sounded like it was coming down a long tunnel and there was an explosion of pain in his side, was this what dying was like? When he opened his eyes he could see Fraser's face, "he got you too huh?" 

"You've been shot," Fraser's tone was faintly reproving. 

"I saved your life!" Kowalski, despite the pain, was jubilant. "I saved your life!"

"And tried to get yourself killed in the process." 

"Well that's gratitude." Kowalski looked up sharply, was Fraser actually choking back tears. "Hey I'm not badly hurt," Ray tried to pull himself upright to prove his statement but stopped when a stab of pain shot through his body. 

"You've been shot in the side." 

"Where's the shooter?"

"He took off down the stairs."

"You didn't go after him?"

"Ray you're hurt," Fraser started to rip his plaid shirt into makeshift bandages. "I can't leave you." 

Ray clenched his teeth in pain as Fraser started to peel his bloody t-shirt away from the torn flesh. "I'm not going to die Frase." 

"No Ray of course you're not." There was a tremor in Fraser's voice and Ray winced as the Mountie's fingers began exploring his wound. 

"What are you doing?"

"Got to stop the bleeding," Fraser muttered, "then we can get you out of here." 

"I hate elevators Fraser.”

"There's no other way down." 

"Great." Ray gasped as Fraser lifted him in his arms and carried him into the elevator, the slow glide down began but then the metal box shook violently and stopped moving. 

"Ah."

"No Frase, no ahs and definitely no intrestings." 

"I believe we're stuck Ray."

From his position sprawled on the floor Kowalski squinted up at the Mountie, the expression on Fraser's face frightened him, for once the man looked scared. "You can call for help right? I mean they've got an intercom thingy?" 

"That seems to be broken as well." Fraser crouched down beside Ray and put a hand on his forehead. "I'm afraid we could be stuck here for a while." 

"That's fine Frase," Ray closed his eyes, "it's cold in here," he murmured plaintively. 

"You're going into shock," Fraser pulled his overcoat off and draped it across Ray, then he sank down onto the floor and pulled Ray's head onto his lap, gentle hands began to stroke Ray's hair and Kowalski's eyes fluttered closed. "You can't go to sleep." 

Kowalski barely notice Fraser''s command, "I've been shot, I think I'm entitled to some shut eye." 

"I want you to talk to me Ray." 

Indignantly Kowalski tried to pull away but a terrible heaviness was spreading through his body and he couldn't move. "What do you want to talk about?" Kowalski fought to keep the panic out of his voice, he didn't notice that Fraser was now clad only in his jeans and undershirt, didn't realise that his friend had sacrificed his own comfort for him. 

"Ray.." Through the mist Kowalski could hear the pleading in Fraser's voice and knew what he was about to suggest. 

"No, this isn't the time." Fraser didn't say anything else and Ray groaned. "Fine have it your way." 

He struggled to take a breath and stared straight up into Fraser's blue eyes, if he was going to tell his friend this thing he wanted to know exactly at what point Fraser was going to leave him. "I was fourteen," Ray barely recognised the raw and bitter voice as his own, the last time he had spoken about this Stella had turned away from him and that had been the beginning of the end for their relationship. "My best friend at school was gay and because he was everyone assumed I was too. The older kids hounded me mercilessly and everytime I denied it they just believed it even more." 

"But you're not gay?" 

"The whole sexuality issue is very clouded Frase. There was Stella and I loved her so much it hurt and then... then there's you." Ray choked back his fear. "Fraser I can't feel my legs anymore." 

"Go on with your story Ray, you're going to be fine."

"One night I'd stayed at school late and I was walking home in the dark when five guys jumped me. I thought they were going to kill me, it probably would have been better for me if they had." 

"Ray!" 

"I'm cold Ben. Anyway," Ray sounded half-asleep, "they beat me up, they raped me, they.. I've been having nightmares about it ever since." Ray looked up imploringly at Fraser, "I guess you can't wait to get away from me now." 

"No Ray," Fraser's hands were on his arms, trying to rub the chill out of them, "it wasn't your fault." 

"You don't hate me?" The cop sounded genuinely surprised.

"No. I wish I'd known before."

Ray tried to smile, "what's this on my fingers?" 

"It's blood, your blood." Fraser gently lowered Ray's head onto the floor of the elevator and stood up. 

"Don't leave me Fraser!" It was the wail of a frightened child and the Mountie's eyes widened with concern. The emergency intercom chose that moment to crackle into life and Fraser breathed a sigh of relief, perhaps now someone would come to help them. "Hello?"

"You stuck in the elevator?"

"It would appear so."

"Well just you hang on, we're doing our best but things are kinda hectic at the moment. What's your name?"

"Constable Benton Fraser, Royal Canadian Mounted Police."

"A mountie? Very cool."

"There's another man with me. Detective Ray Vecchio." 

"There are a lot of cops here."

"I don't think you understand. Detective Vecchio is in the elevator with me. He's been shot, it is imperative that I get him to hospital as soon as possible." 

"We'll do our best," the voice said and then the intercom went dead. "Frase," Ray croaked, "I just wanted to say that, well that I'm sorry." 

"For what?"

"For being so touchy, for not trusting you, for hurting you." 

"Ray," Fraser knelt down by his friend's side, "there's nothing to be sorry for. You trust me now don't you?" 

Ray grimaced as a new pain started throbbing in his side. "Of course." "We're friends?" 

"For life."

"You told me something that you feared would drive me away but I'm still here." 

"There's nowhere else to go.”

"I just need to know one thing," the Mountie sounded so uncertain that Ray wanted to reach out and take his hand but he couldn't seem to move his arms. "Do you Stanley Raymond Kowalski love me?" 

Ray didn't notice Fraser's use of his real name at that moment but he nodded, "you know I love you Ben. I've never loved anyone more, Jeez not even Stella," Ray started to laugh, it hurt but he couldn't stop. 

"What's so funny?" 

"It's just that here I am dying and it's only now I realise that I'm over Stella." 

"You're not going to die."

"I'm not?"

"I won't let you." The conviction in Fraser's voice was almost frightening. 

Kowalski could feel his eyes beginning to close and he gasped out in fear, "sing to me Fraser." 

The Mountie, one hand supporting Ray's head, the other pressed flat against the wound began to sing softly. The words made no sense to Ray but the sound soothed him and little by little he began to let go of his fear. Even when the elevator began moving again Fraser continued to sing and that was how they saw them when the doors ground open, a semi-clad Fraser singing an Innuit love-song to the blonde almost-unconscious cop.


	8. Chapter 8

"Vecchio!" Lieutenant Welsh was the first to speak.

"Make way please," a team of paramedics were pushing their way through the crowd. 

"He's been shot in the left side," Fraser informed them calmly as they clustered around Ray, "and has lost a considerable amount of blood." 

The medics started to lift Ray onto the gurney and he cried out, "don't leave me Frase." 

"May I travel in the ambulance?" The Mountie asked politely, a curt nod, "thank you kindly." 

"Francesca go with them," Lieutenant Welsh grunted, "I'll send Huey along to get a statement about what happened later." 

"Understood sir," Fraser started to follow the medics but then he slowed and turned, "sir did you catch the man who shot Ray?" 

"Yeah we got him Fraser."

"Good." Fraser paused, concerned that his tone might have given away a little more than he'd intended. "Sir what I meant.." 

"Just go to the hospital Fraser and make sure Vecchio's okay." "Yes sir." 

The journey to the hospital was a nightmare, Fraser's head filled with the sirens and the relentless beep of the machine monitoring Ray's heart and all Fraser could think was - if he dies it'll be my fault. 

"Nonsense son," Fraser Sr leaned over Kowalski, "he didn't have to throw himself in front of that bullet." 

"Dad!" Fraser hissed all too aware of the hovering medic and Francesca. 

"Well really son, it's bad enough that you have to play the hero all the time without your young friend starting." 

"I don't play the hero."

"Oh yes you do son. In that bank if the positions had been reversed what would you have done?" 

"That's beside the point." 

"Is it?" Fraser Sr smiled, "you know I was exactly the same with your mother." 

"Exactly the same as what?"

"As you and the Yank. I was always protective of her." 

"Dad.."

"Oh I know son, I couldn't protect her when it came to the crunch, though I tried." 

"Are you saying I can't protect Ray?" 

"What I'm saying is that if he dies you mustn't blame yourself. Life goes on. Not for me of course but then I'm dead!" 

Fraser put his head in his hands. "Go away Dad."

"Did you say something Ben?" Francesca asked through a mouthful of gum. 

Finally they arrived at the hospital and Fraser helped the medics lift Ray down from the ambulance. 

"Don't leave me Fraser." 

"I'm with you Ray," the Mountie took the man's cold fingers, "there's nothing to be scared of." 

"We'll take it from here sir," a doctor was pushing the gurney away and Ray yelled out. 

"Fraser!" 

"I want to stay with him, please he's my friend." 

A nurse took pity on him, "you can go with him as far as theatre." "Thank you kindly ma'am."

"Benton he is going to be all right isn't he?" Fraser answered Francesca's question with a certainty he was far from feeling, "he's going to be fine." 

Hours seemed to go by, although when Fraser looked at his watch he found that only an hour and a half had in fact crawled by since the doctors had wheeled Ray into the operating theatre. 

"Please let him be all right," he muttered the words over and over again as though he could save Ray's life by willpower alone. Francesca and Detective Jack Huey sitting across the room exchanged glances, their concern as much for Fraser as for Ray. The Mountie had given Huey a clear and concise statement about what had transpired in the bank but he seemed distracted, more than simply the worry for a friend. His usually immaculately groomed hair was standing on end and his forehead was creased with worry. 

"Benton?" He could hear Francesca's voice but he couldn't focus on her and he shook his head, dismissing her and he didn't see the doctor who spoke to Huey in hushed tones. 

"Fraser," the detective had to say the man's name twice before he got a response. 

"I beg your pardon." 

"The doc says Ray's out of theatre," blue eyes filled with hope, "he's gonna be fine Fraser." 

"Can I see him?" Huey shook his head, "he's not awake yet." 

"I want to sit with him," Fraser bounced to his feet, "I'll go and ask the nurse." 

"I'm afraid not," he was told, "in situations like this we only let family sit with the patients." 

"Understood." Fraser's voice was as usual perfectly calm and reasonable but there was a hint of desperation in his eyes. 

Francesca stood up, "I'm Ray's sister." 

"Well then you're quite welcome to sit with him." 

"Well here's the thing," Francesca smoothed her hair back behind her ears, "Ray and I well we had a big fight and I just don't think he'll want to see me. Benton on the other hand is his best friend, so you see.." 

The nurse sighed in mild irritation and gave in. "Fine. He's second door on the left." 

"Thank you kindly." Fraser smiled at the nurse and gave Francesca a peck on the cheek before hurrying off to Ray. 

The cop looked so vulnerable lying unconscious in the hospital bed and Fraser ran a hand over the man's forehead, frowning slightly at his raised temperature. "Oh Ray, I'm so sorry." Fraser put his head in his hands and his broad shoulders began to shake as salt tears flooded his eyes. 

"Chin up son, he's going to live."

"I almost lost him Dad," Fraser's voice was full of pain and he didn't look up. "I couldn't bear it if anything happened to him." 

"You can't protect him," Fraser Sr pointed out harshly. "He's a policeman, he risks death every day." 

"I know," Fraser raised water-logged blue eyes, "I know."

"It's a risk he accepts, the same one you accepted when you put on the uniform." 

"Dad.."

"All you can do son is make the most of every moment you have together. Don't hold back." 

"Why are you being so understanding about this?" 

"I'm your father, I want you to be happy and the Yank makes you happy." 

Fraser looked up to say thank you but his father was gone. He sank back into his chair and found he couldn't take his eyes off Ray's face. One hand reached out to smooth back the blonde hair and Fraser could feel more tears prickling behind his eyes, he raised a hand and pinched the bridge of his nose, he mustn't cry, it wouldn't help Ray if he broke down. 

An hour or more crawled by, Fraser barely noticed that Francesca and Huey were now hanging around in the corridor. 

"Fraser.." the weak voice hardly registered. "Frase.."

Ray was struggling to sit up in the bed and Fraser put strong hands on the man's squirming shoulders, holding him down. "I really think it would be best if you lay still."

"Do you know how long I've got to stay here?" Ray asked angrily. 

"It won't be that bad," Fraser assured him, "the care's excellent, the food's," he paused, "well it's edible and the nurses are pretty." 

Ray grabbed Fraser's forearm with a hand that was horribly weak, "as if I care what the nurses look like." 

Two pairs of blue eyes met but the moment was interrupted by Huey who had decided that now was a good time to take Ray's statement. Francesca burst into the room behind him and promptly burst into tears. 

"Thank you Fran," Ray teased, "I'm sorry I didn't die." 

"Brothers!" Fran rolled her eyes and came forward to give Ray a warm hug but she was still crying. 

"She's had a tough day," Fraser said quietly, "I'll take her home." 

"I could do with the sleep anyway." Ray grinned, it was a little strained at the edges and Fraser put a comforting hand on the man's shoulders. 

"I'll be back soon," he promised before guiding Francesca out of the room. 

Huey only stayed long enough to take a statement and then he too left and Ray tried to sleep. He wasn't entirely successful and the little sleep he did achieve was haunted by nightmares. Nightmares in which he found himself back in the bank but this time it was Fraser who got shot, Fraser who died in his arms. The feeling of desolation he felt after waking was so immense that he didn't dare go back to sleep and that was how Fraser found him when he arrived back at the hospital, eyes desperately staring at the ceiling, hands clenched into fists. 

"Ray." No response. "Ray.. Ray.. Ray."

"Go away Fraser."

"No I won't, you need me."

"Do I? What about you Fraser? Do you need me?" Ray's eyes never left the ceiling and his voice was full of bitterness. 

"Yes I need you," Fraser titled his head to one side. "What's wrong Ray? Has something happened?" 

"I had a dream," Ray finally looked at his friend. 

"That's quite a common occurrence when one is asleep." 

"I dreamt we were in that bank, the guy pulled his gun and you died." 

Fraser moved forward then, sinking down onto the edge of the bed and gathering Ray into his arms. "It's all right," he crooned, "I'm alive, you saved my life." Ray's arms were wrapped around Fraser, his fingers digging heedlessly into the Mountie's back. "Ray I'm fine, you're fine." Fraser went on murmuring reassurances until the body in his arms stopped quivering. 

"With you around Fraser I actually am." 

A small frown puckered Fraser's mouth as his father's words came back to him. "All you can do son is make the most of every moment you have together." No, it was too soon, he didn't want to scare the younger man away. 

"Fraser?"

"Carpe diem son," Fraser could hear his father's voice. "Carpe diem."

"Come again?"

"It's Latin Ray. It means seize the day." 

"Oh. What does that mean?"

"It means.. it means," Fraser couldn't say the words that would seal his fate. 

"Fraser?"

"It means I think we should move in together," the words came out in a rush, fighting to escape Fraser's lips before he could think about what he was saying. 

"Move in together?" Ray's voice shook. "You mean share an apartment?" 

"Yes," Fraser couldn't say anymore, couldn't look Ray in the eyes, too scared that he would be rejected. 

"Well we can't live in your apartment."

"I beg your pardon," Fraser hadn't been listening. 

"It's too small," Ray rambled on, "and the neighbourhood.." 

Hope dawned on the Mountie's face when he realised what Ray meant. "Ray.. what are you saying?"

"I'm saying yes Fraser. Yes I'll move in with you." The look of joy on Fraser's face was indescribable and Ray smiled at him, pleased that he had made his friend so happy. 

Kowalski ended up having to spend two weeks in hospital, Fraser visited him every day with Francesca who hovered anxiously around him until he wanted to tell her to go home. In all that time the two friends never made any mention of how they felt or didn't feel about each other or the decision they had made. 

"I won't be sorry to leave this place," Ray grumbled as he threw various items into a bag. "Did you bring my car Fraser?" 

"Yes," the Mountie was standing just outside the room, twisting his Stetson in nervous hands. 

"Good. I can't wait to get back behind the wheel."

Fraser smiled, Ray was sounding more like his old self again, he hadn't realised how much he'd missed it. 

"So what was the Ice Queen's reaction?" Ray asked as he guided the GTO out onto the road. 

"To what Ray?" 

"To your change of address."

"Oh. I think she mumbled something about at least I'd be living in a decent neighbourhood." 

Ray grinned, "now all we've got to do is tell Francesca and Welsh."   
"You're what?" Ray tried not to wince at Francesca's tone. "Why? What's wrong with your apartment Fraser?" 

Fraser smiled at her, completely at a loss for an answer.

"Dry rot," Ray put in, suddenly inspired. 

"Yes," Fraser's smile was broad, "dry rot, it's in all the floorboards." 

"If it's really that bad why don't you stay with me? Ma won't mind." 

"Thank you Francesca that's a very generous offer but.." 

"You know how it is Fran, two bachelors hanging out," Ray interrupted. She didn't look very happy about it but at least she didn't say anymore.


	9. Chapter 9

A week had passed since Ray's release from hospital and in all that time he and Fraser had only got as far as a heated kiss. Things had got a little hotter from time to time but Ray had always pulled back, still too scared to let things go any further. 

"Ray," the two men were in his car, "are you sure about this?" 

The cop looked directly into Fraser's troubled blue eyes, "yes." Then he leant forwards, his hands moving in to cup the other man's face while he kissed him. 

 

Diefenbaker interrupted the kiss with a bark and Ray laughed, "I suppose it's time we introduced Dief to his new home." It was awkward, Ray thought as he turned that car away from Fraser's apartment, he was scared but didn't know how to tell the Mountie without making it sound like a rejection. 

It had taken barely half an hour to collect and pack Fraser's few belongings. The austerity of his friend's life had shocked him it was as though Fraser had never really settled in Chicago, had always been on the verge of moving on but he'll stay now because of me, the thought was warming. 

They stopped off and got Chinese take-out and beers to celebrate their moving in together with. Fraser, Ray knew, wouldn't touch them but I'm going to need all the Dutch courage I can get, he told himself. 

"Hello Mrs Carmichael," Fraser greeted one of the neighbours cordially and Ray frowned, how the hell did he learn their names so quickly? 

"Well here we are, home sweet home," Ray avoided his friend's eyes, knowing the Canadian had heard the tremor in his voice. 

"Ray," Fraser put the take-out down on a low table and turned to the man, "are you sure about this?" 

In answer Ray lunged forward, capturing the Mountie's mouth with his own. The kiss was breathtaking and Fraser returned it with single-minded passion. 

"The food'll be getting cold," Ray broke off abruptly and he couldn't help but see the confusion in Fraser's eyes. "We can talk as we eat," he offered, feeling guilty as he disappeared into the kitchen to fetch a couple of plates.

"If you tell me you're not ready for this," Fraser said, "I will understand." 

"I know you will and that makes it harder."

"How can it make things harder?" Fraser was completely confused now, he often had trouble figuring out how his partner's mind worked and he was totally at a loss this time. 

"It just does okay, I can't explain it."

"You trusted me enough to tell me about your rape," Fraser almost sounded hurt. 

"Yeah I did but I've still got a lot of issues to deal with," Ray paused, wondering how much he should explain. "Being intimate with a man isn't easy, even when it's you." 

"Oh." 

"Every time you touch me Fraser all I can think of is those guys, I hear their voices, I see.." 

The Mountie stopped him, "why did you agree to this Ray?"

"I love you," Kowalski responded simply, "you're the only one who can drive the demons away." 

Fraser nodded and turned his attention to his food, he didn't look up when Kowalski opened a beer or when the man, unable to cope with the chopsticks, got up to fetch a fork. 

"I've upset you haven't I?" Ray asked in a small voice as he emerged from the kitchen. 

Fraser put his plate down and strode across to the man, hands on his friend's shoulders he looked deep into his eyes. "I'm not upset. I'm concerned about you," Diefenbaker broke away from finishing off Fraser's food to add his own small wuff to the conversation. 

"What'd he say?" 

"He's worried about you too."

Ray opened another beer and took a swig, followed by another, then another. 

"Ray.. Ray.." Fraser snatched the bottle from him before he could completely drain it and when the man reached out for another Fraser's hand closed over his. "I think you've had enough." 

"You do huh?" Ray sank down onto the edge of his couch and began to cry. 

"Ray!" Fraser dropped to his knees, shocked by the sobbing detective in front of him. 

"I'm sorry, so sorry," he murmured over and over again until the Mountie grabbed his face, forcing Ray to look at him. 

"You've got nothing to be sorry for. Nothing."

Ray's only response was to reach forward for a greedy kiss, his hands swooped across Fraser's chest, pulling at the man's shirt, not caring as the buttons popped off, hardly noticing the Mountie's gasp as his cold hands made contact with soft warm flesh. With his tongue thrust deep into Fraser's mouth Ray rolled them both off the couch and then blind hands began to struggle with the fastenings on Fraser's jeans. The Mountie pushed them away but they crept back and Fraser had to push them away again. "No!"

Ray broke off his plundering of Fraser's mouth in confusion. "I thought this is what you wanted." 

"Not like this," Fraser captured the man's hands. "I don't want this to be just a cheap.." Fraser searched for the right word. 

"Fuck?" Ray suggested with a faint smile. 

"Sexual experience. It has to be right for both of us." 

Ray was nodding slowly, "all right I'm convinced." 

He didn't say anything else and the Mountie found his eyes wandering over to his belongings stacked in a corner of the apartment, his bed roll was on top. "Perhaps it would be best if I sleapt out here tonight." 

"You don't want to sleep with me?" Ray looked confused and upset, even his spiky blonde hair seemed dispirited. 

"Ray.." "What was it you said Frase? Carpey day-em?" 

"Carpe diem," he corrected absentmindedly. 

"Yeah that. Isn't that what this was all about? Seizing the day?" 

"I'm just not sure you're ready for this," Fraser said, "I don't want to hurt you." 

"You won't," Ray's blue eyes pleaded with his friend to understand, not to turn away from him as so many others had done in the past. 

The Mountie put an arm around Ray's slender shoulders, drawing him close and then kissing him with a tenderness that made tears leap to the eyes of the street-wise Chicago cop. No one had ever kissed him like that before, not even Stella and God knows they'd had their share of tender moments but Ray pushed away the thought of his ex-wife, why waste time thinking about her when he should be enjoying the feel of the Mountie's warm lips on his own. Fraser tasted like apples, clean and wholesome, the taste of the country and Ray couldn't get enough of him. 

Eventually however Fraser pushed himself away and went to retrieve his bed roll. 

"You're going to sleep in here?" Ray sounded hurt. 

"It's for Diefenbaker," the Mountie explained as he unrolled it. "He's taken to sleeping on my bed lately but I think you and I need some privacy tonight." Fraser held out his hand and Ray took it eagerly, his eyes shining and then the two men walked into the bedroom, taking care to close the door behind them. 

Ray came awake with a start, it was still dark outside and he ran sleepy fingers through his mussed-up blonde hair, he had the strongest feeling that he had forgotten something, something important. A movement next to him caught his attention and momentarily he froze. Was that Stella next to him? No it couldn't be, the head resting on the pillow next to his was dark and then he remembered. The memory was the sweetest thing he had ever experienced and he savoured it, lying there in the dark next to the warm body of his.. I guess he's my boyfriend Ray realised with a smile. 

Still smiling Ray climbed out of the bed and padded across to the door. He was about to open it when he remembered that Diefenbaker was in the next room and he pulled on a pair of boxers. The wolf looked up with a small whine as if to ask why he was being disturbed so early. "I hope you approve." Ray murmured as he started to clear discarded plates and take-out boxes into the kitchen. 

He ran the water and cast his mind back on the night's love-making. It had been intense, Fraser was so gentle, so considerate and when Ray had pulled back, unable to go that one step further the Mountie had said he understood and he'd meant it, it was there in his eyes and that look was something Ray knew he would never forget. 

Gentle hands slid around Ray's waist and he leant back against the broad solidity that was Fraser. "Don't ever leave me," he wasn't sure if he had even spoken the words out loud but he must have done because Fraser murmured back. "I won't." 

Days turned into weeks and weeks into months and Fraser and Ray fell more deeply in love every day. Huey and Duey pursued Veronica Lake but were unable to find anyone willing to testify against her. The bank robber was tried and sentenced for attempted murder and everyone wondered at the grim smile of satisfaction on Fraser's face the next day. The two men tried to keep their relationship a secret and it wasn't actually that hard. Vecchio and the Mountie had always spent a lot of time in each other's company. Welsh however did notice a difference and so one day he called Ray into his office. "Vecchio, a word." 

"What's up Lieutenant?"

"Close the door please." Ray pushed it shut with one foot and then perched himself on the edge of a chair. Welsh looked at the young man and almost smiled, although Ray wasn't dressing any more smartly these days the edge of tension had gone from his demeanour. He seemed calmer, more settled, no longer swaggering about as though he had something to prove to the world. Well, he might as well get straight to the point. "What's going on between you and Big Red?"

"Lieutenant?"

"Don't play the innocent with me Vecchio. I've seen the looks you've been exchanging lately." Ray tried hard not to look guilty and failed miserably. "He's still staying with you?"

Ray nodded, "dry.."

"Rot, so Francesca told me." Welsh added dryly, "I've heard that it can take months to clear.” 

Ray smiled uncertainly, "sir I.."

"No," Welsh raised a hand, "I don't want to know Vecchio, your private life is exactly that, private but you would do well to remember that there are a lot of people in the world who aren't as understanding as me and Francesca." 

Francesca? Frannie knew? "Yes sir," the import of Welsh's words barely registered, Ray was too busy trying to figure out how Fran could have found out about him and Fraser. 

"Vecchio," Welsh's eyes were full of compassion, "good luck, I hope you and Fraser make each other very happy." 

"Thank you sir." 

The next evening was their anniversary and for once Ray had managed to get off work early and he went to meet Fraser at the consulate. 

"Detective Vecchio." There was intense dislike in the Ice Queen's voice and Ray grinned, nothing could spoil his good mood today. 

"Frase around?" 

"He's debriefing Turnbull." Thatcher looked hard at Ray. "I understand you two are going out for dinner tonight." 

"Yeah," Kowalski stuck his chin out defiantly, "it's a cop thing, a stag party." 

"Really?" Thatcher's eyebrows arched upwards. "Constable Fraser told me it was a retirement party." 

"Well yeah," Ray improvised, "guy's retiring and getting married. Kinda nice don't you think." 

"Is that why Fraser's been on edge all day?" 

"Don't ask me, I'm just his best friend," it was so odd saying those words, Ray hadn't thought of Fraser as just his best friend for a long time now. 

"Well I hope you enjoy yourselves." 

Fraser appeared then and the two men practically ran to the car, once inside they clasped hands briefly before driving away. 

Dinner had been eaten, the bill had been paid and Ray leant forward and whispered something that made Fraser's eyes widen in surprise. 

"Are you sure?" 

Ray nodded. But when it came to the moment later that evening with Fraser slick and warm behind him Ray froze. Instead of Fraser's warm words all he could hear were mocking words and laughter and instead of gentle fingers tracing lightly across his skin he felt brutal hands holding him down, forcing him.. "No. No!" He was screaming and shaking uncontrollably and Fraser gathered him into his arms. "I'm sorry," now the terror had receded he was sobbing. 

"It's all right Ray. I won't hurt you, I'm not upset. You're not ready for this yet." 

"I wanted to be," Ray protested clenching his fists and pushing himself away. "I wanted to show you how much I love you." 

Fraser smiled. "I know Ray, I know how you feel about me, can see it in your eyes, hear it in your voice." 

"It's not enough." 

"It is for me," Fraser put his arms around Ray and held the shuddering body, trying to impart some of his own tranquillity to the shivering limbs. He held Ray until the man stopped shaking and then they fell asleep in each other's arms. 

The night sky was lightening as a taxi cab drew up outside Ray's apartment block. A tall slender figure climbed out of the interior and stood looking upwards for a moment, then he walked round to the front door and let himself in. The elevators had been turned off for the night and he climbed the stairs to the fifth floor, the exertion leaving him barely breathless. He could see the door, his destination. Number fifty-two, the number glinted dully and the man removed a key from the breast pocket of his well-cut suit.


	10. Chapter 10

Diefenbaker's low growl woke Fraser instantly and he glanced at the glowing digits of Kowalski's alarm clock, it was half past five. 

"Who is it?" Fraser pulled himself up in bed and glanced at the sleeping man next to him, "Dief how am I supposed to know?" Now he could hear a key turning in the lock, the front door opening and the faint sound of a man's shallow breathing. 

Fraser got out of bed and wrapped a towel around his waist for the want of anything better, then with Diefenbaker at his side he edged out into the lounge, one hand reaching for the light switch. Diefenbaker barked but it was one of welcome not warning. 

"Fraser?" The Mountie blinked away the distortion caused by the sudden light, that voice was achingly familiar. "Hey Benny, how you been?" 

"Ray?" 

"The one and only," Raymond Vecchio spread out his arms and smiled. 

Fraser took a step forward and the two men embraced before Fraser had a chance to take a proper look at his friend. There were shadows under Ray's eyes, new lines marked his face and behind his friend's smile he could detect a great sorrow. 

"Don't look at me like that Benny okay?" 

Fraser nodded, it was good seeing his friend again and there would be plenty of time for them to talk later. "When did you get back?" 

"Tonight. I wanted to surprise you." 

"How did you find me?" 

"Turnbull," Ray answered with a wry grin, "gave me your address and the spare key you keep in your desk. It's a nice apartment Benny, nice neighbourhood too. You live here alone?" 

"No," Fraser answered honestly, following Ray's gaze to the two mugs on the coffee table and blushing slightly. 

"Well whadya know," Ray's tone was teasing, "while I've been running with the Mob Benny's gone and got himself a girlfriend. So who is she? Do I know her? No," Ray was talking so fast that Fraser didn't have time to even consider his questions, "it's not the Dragon Lady?" 

"No," Fraser permitted himself a small smile. 

"Well who then?" There was a huge grin plastered across Ray Vecchio's face, it was good being with Benny again. 

The Mountie frowned, how to explain things to Ray? 

"Frase?" The sleepy voice distracted both men and it was with shock that Vecchio saw the slender tattooed blonde man, clad only in a pair of boxers lounging just inside the bedroom door. 

"Ah," Fraser really was blushing now and Vecchio's eyes were out on stalks. 

"Benny?" 

Kowalski blinked slowly and took a proper look at the scene in font of him. Jeez it was him! Vecchio! He was back. 

"Ray." Fraser was looking at him but Kowalski wasn't sure that the Canadian was talking to him and he backed away, almost tripping over Diefenbaker as he retreated. 

"Ray!" Fraser made to go after him. 

"Fraser I'm late for work." 

"It's barely light." 

"I've got the early shift today," and the bedroom door closed. 

A minute of embarrassed silence went by before Kowalski, dressed in jeans, t-shirt and boots and with his hair sticking up defiantly, strode out of the bedroom. 

"I'll see you later Frase." He picked up his jacket from the couch and then moved to give Fraser a kiss, but he stopped short and almost ran from the apartment. 

"Benny?" 

Fraser's avoided his friend's eyes and glanced down at Diefenbaker who whined. "There's no need to take that tone." 

"So that's who you're living with?" 

"Yes." 

"How long?" 

"Six months," Fraser's blue eyes were wide, asking for understanding. 

"Do you love him?" 

"Yes." 

"Does he love you?" 

"Yes." 

"Then I'm happy for you Fraser," Ray really did look pleased and Fraser started to relax. "So who is he?" 

"I.." the normally talkative Mountie was lost for words. 

"Fraser?" 

"Ray when you went undercover they had to find someone to take your place, to.." 

"Protect me? I know that Benny, what are you getting at? Oh," realisation dawned, "that's him isn't it? Oh my God Fraser!" 

"Ray.." 

But the Italian American continued, "he doesn't look anything like me, what were they thinking?" 

"Ray.." 

"He didn't know I was coming back did he? Welsh didn't tell him?" 

"No," Fraser suddenly remembered his manners, "would you like some breakfast?" 

"Shouldn't you go after him?" Ray suggested although all he really wanted to do was spend some time catching up with Fraser. 

"When Ray's upset it's usually best to leave him alone to calm down." Fraser said, trying to make his words convincing at least for Ray if not himself. 

_______________________________________________________________________

Kowalski was absolutely fuming as he drove the car away from his home. Why hadn't Welsh told him that Vecchio was due back? He could have prepared himself for the look of joy he'd seen on Fraser's face, could have prepared himself for losing the Mountie. 

Then he remembered and his foot rammed the accelerator down, Welsh had tried to tell him something yesterday but he'd been too eager to get to the consulate to see Fraser that he hadn't bothered to listen, had simply shouted out that he'd catch up with Welsh tomorrow. 

"Damn you Ray Vecchio!" It was lucky that the roads were so empty because Kowalski was paying no attention whatsoever to anything around him. He didn't know at what point he turned his car towards the 27th but he realised he couldn't avoid it for ever, should clear his desk, 'cept it wasn't his desk anymore, was it? And then what? Couldn't go home. It was so strange, he'd been living Ray Vecchio's life for so long now that he wasn't entirely sure if he could go back to being plain Stanley Kowalski, divorcee and all right so he was a good cop but not in Vecchio's league and Fraser? Could Stan Kowalski, a Chicago flatfoot with experimental hair as Stella had once called him, hope to cling onto a prize like the Mountie? 

He just didn't know, should have hung around, talked to Fraser. The guy was so naive that he probably had no idea why Kowalski was upset but it was too late for that, he couldn't go back, couldn't face Vecchio. He started to laugh, he probably should feel happy, he was getting his own life back, no more running around solving crimes with a Mountie, no more people trying to set his car on fire, no more almost-drowning on ships, no more carting dead guys around in wheelchairs. But the trouble was he didn't really have much of a life to go back to, wasn't that why he had taken this assignment in the first place? It was a sobering thought and one that made him drive right past the 27th district before he realised where he was. I don't even know if I've got a job anymore! 

"Fran!" She was the first person he saw despite the fact there were various drunks and deadbeats scattered about. 

"Guess you couldn't sleep either," she smiled up at him. "No Benton?" Even though Fran was all too aware of the relationship between the Mountie and the cop she still looked forward to seeing Fraser. 

Kowalski shook his head, scowling when he remembered where his lover was and with whom. 

"Do you want a coffee?" Fran offered a little sharply having assumed the scowl was meant for her. 

"I'm not staying," Kowalski retreated towards his... no - Vecchio's desk.. "just came to pick up a few things." 

Frannie watched uncomprehending as he grabbed one of Duey's cardboard boxes, God knows why the guy had them under his desk, and started to sweep files and various bits of paraphernalia into it. 

"Ray?" 

"It's Stan," the glowering man insisted, desperate to separate himself from the newly-returned Vecchio, "my name's Stanley Kowalski." 

"Ray what are you doing?" Frannie hissed, convinced that the blonde detective was finally losing the plot. 

"Don't worry Fran, you should be pleased. Your big brother's home." 

"Ray? Ray's back?" Her face was shining and Kowalski turned away. "When?" 

"About an hour ago," the man grunted, "first thing he did was come and see Fraser." He continued to shovel paper into his box. 

"Oh." 

"I'm clearing my, no his, desk. Don't wanna be here when he comes to see Welsh." 

"What are you going to do?" 

"I don't know," Kowalski's blue eyes were fixed on the floor, "I might see if I can get a transfer out of Chicago." 

"You'd leave Chicago? Why?" 

"There's nothing for me here," except a certain Mountie, he added silently, and I don't know if he wants me anymore. 

"Where are you going?" Fran called as Kowalski made to leave. 

"I've got to do some thinking," and Kowalski was gone.


	11. Chapter 11

Fraser watched as the last of the croissants disappeared into Ray's mouth and smiled. The two friends had done more eating than talking but neither minded, it was just nice to be back together after such a long time. Both had noticed the way the easy comradeship they had shared was still there and it meant there was no immediate need to talk. 

"So Fraser you want me to drive you anywhere?" The rangy cop grinned. "Where is my Riv anyway?" 

"At the bottom of a lake." 

"Okay," Ray sounded surprisingly calm about the loss of his beloved car, "so the kid owes me a new car." 

"It wasn't his fault," Fraser replied, bristling slightly, "and he's not a kid." 

"Yeah sorry. It was just a bit of a shock coming back and finding you two together," more than a shock, Ray thought to himself, he honestly felt that he had lost his friend. 

Fraser had reddened. "Ray, my relationship with Ray.. Kowalski has nothing to do with the fact that he was your replacement." 

Ray sighed, well there was that fantasy out of the window. "I don't mind Benny," he forced himself to say, "I'm just glad you've found someone." 

"Really?" 

"Really." 

"Thank you." 

"Don't mention it Benny. Just promise me if the two of you ever decide to get hitched I can be best man." 

"I promise." Their eyes met and a smile flickered across Ray's face. 

"Do you think Dief has missed me?" 

"I believe he has," Fraser glanced down at the wolf who though seated by his side was gazing longingly at Ray. 

"He's just after my buttery fingers," Ray's train of thought shifted abruptly, "I guess it's time I checked in with Welsh, you gonna come?" 

They got a cab to the 27th, arriving just in time to see a distinctly put-out Stella Kowalski unlocking her car door. 

Ray whistled his appreciation. "Who's that?" 

"She's the district states attorney??" Fraser replied a little stiffly, "Ray's ex-wife." 

"Ah," Ray nodded sagely, "I see." 

Inside the district was slowly waking up to the day and looking round Vecchio was disappointed by how few people he actually recognised. There was one however that he recognised instantly. 

"Frannie!" 

The woman promptly dropped her nail file and jumped to her feet. "Ray!" She ran towards him and embraced her brother. "Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine Frannie, all the better for seeing you. Fraser told me you've been working here." 

At the mention of the Mountie Fran released her brother and turned towards Fraser, today wearing his plain brown uniform but still looking drop-dead gorgeous. 

"Ray cleared his desk, he's thinking about leaving Chicago." 

Fraser's blue eyes were confused, "did he say why?" 

"I got the impression that he thinks you won't want him any more." 

"Did he say where he was going?" 

"Somewhere to think," Fran shrugged, "that was it." 

"Thank you Francesca," Fraser turned towards Vecchio with an apologetic smile. "I have to find him." 

"I'll come with you," Ray said, "I'm sure together we can talk some sense into him." 

"What about Lieutenant Welsh? Shouldn't you speak to him first?" 

"He's not here yet," Frannie put in helpfully. 

"Come on then Fraser, what are we waiting for?" 

They found him in the gym, dressed in sweats and throwing punches at the heavy bag. He didn't see them until Fraser called out to him. 

"Go 'way Frase. I'm busy." 

"Busy doing what?" Fraser grabbed the bag, holding it steady while Kowalski continued to swat at it. 

"I see you brought Vecchio with you," Kowalski grunted, leaning into a punch, "guess you guys can't bear to be apart." The man didn't see the hurt in Fraser's eyes but Vecchio did and he took a step forward. 

"I think we should talk." 

"I haven't got anything to say to you except here's your life back, thanks for the loan." Kowalski's voice was flowing over with bitterness and Fraser stepped towards him. 

"Ray.." 

Vecchio's outstretched hand stopped him, "let me deal with this." 

"You?" The tone was definitely belligerent. "You want to go one on one with me?" Kowalski scowled his challenge. 

"I think I can handle it." 

"Fine," Kowalski sneered, "there're gloves in the locker. Buckle up." 

"Ray.." 

Both heads swung round and two voices exclaimed as one, "what?" 

"Is this really necessary?" 

"Frase sometimes a man's just gotta do what he's gotta do." 

The concerned Mountie looked from Kowalski to Vecchio. "Don't hurt him." 

"Don't worry Benny, I won't mess up that pretty face of his." 

"I can handle you," Kowalski snarled as Vecchio strapped on a pair of gloves. 

Vecchio almost laughed, he topped the man by a good two inches and had a longer reach as well but then he saw the look of worry on Fraser's face and said mildly, "I'm sure you can." 

The two men swung themselves up into the boxing ring and stood opposite one another with Fraser and Diefenbaker looking on in concern. 

"So are you going to hit me?" Kowalski sneered. 

Vecchio made a swing but it was neatly side-stepped and Kowalski drove forward, Vecchio retreating before him. Once he had Vecchio pinned in the corner he indulged in a little preening which enabled Vecchio to land a solid blow that knocked the shorter man off his feet. 

"Nice try kid," Vecchio scowled down at his opponent, "do you want to give up?" 

But Kowalski had already bounced to his feet. "We're just getting started," he took a swing at Vecchio and the man parried and stepped lightly around Kowalski grinning. 

"I learnt a lot of things undercover," Vecchio sounded as though he were just having a pleasant conversation over a beer, "and one of them was how to turn your opponent's strengths against him. Unfortunately for me," Ray continued his mocking green eyes never leaving Kowalski's face, "you don't have any." 

With a roar Kowalski lowered his head and charged at Vecchio who merely stepped out of the way and watched as his opponent crashed into the ropes. 

"You're too emotional," Ray commented, "a good cop should always be in control of his emotions. I'm betting you and Fraser have had a few problems working together." 

"What's it to you if we did?" Kowalski snarled, raining punches at Vecchio who neatly parried all of them. 

"I care about him," Vecchio caught Kowalski a blow on the jaw and his head snapped back. 

"Ray please be careful." Fraser who had been watching in silence for some time leapt to his feet, his sensitive face radiating concern. He knew that this was somehow important, that both his friends had to go through this but he wasn't happy about it. 

"I'm not going to hurt him Benny, I'm just going to knock a little sense into his thick head." 

"Hey!" Kowalski took instant umbrage at that. "What's that supposed to mean?" 

"I'm calling you stupid." Another blow and Kowalski staggered backwards, bringing his hands up to protect his face. 

"I'm not stupid!" Kowalski actually managed to land a punch. 

"No?" 

"No!" 

Both men were breathing heavily now, faces shining with sweat. 

"Why did you tell Frannie you were going to ask for a transfer?" Vecchio demanded. "You didn't stop to think about Fraser did you? Can't love him very much." 

"That's not true," Kowalski howled, driving forward, fury in his eyes. "I love him more than you could know." 

"Then tell him," Vecchio landed a blow on the side of Kowalski's face and as the man began to fall backwards he added, "I'm not going to let you hurt him." 

"That's enough," the Mountie couldn't bear to watch anymore and he came leaping forward but Kowalski was out cold. 

"He'll be okay Benny," Vecchio was beginning to remove his gloves. 

"You didn't have to hurt him," Fraser remonstrated with his friend. 

"Don't give me that big-eyed Mountie look Fraser. Someone had to knock some sense into him." Diefenbaker barked. "Thank you. You see Dief agrees with me." 

Fraser sighed, "do you think you two will be able to get on after this?" 

"Of course," Vecchio assured him, "me and the kid know where we stand now." 

Kowalski's eyelashes fluttered weakly, "Frase.." he groaned. 

"Ray?" The Mountie bent over his lover, "how do you feel?" 

"I've got a headache," he complained and lifted his head. "Is he still here?" 

"I assume you mean me," Vecchio stepped into Kowalski's field of vision. "You fought well kid." 

"Don't patronise me," Kowalski snarled, "one fight means nothing." 

Vecchio just smiled and leapt gracefully down from the ring and started to put his jacket on, the man was so graceful like some kind of big cat Kowalski decided. 

"You're still going to ask for a transfer?" There was a definite tremor in Fraser's voice and Kowalski sought his eyes. 

"No Fraser. I'm gonna stay.. if you'll have me." 

"Always," Fraser smiled and it was one of the most radiant that Kowalski had ever seen.


	12. Chapter 12

Lieutenant Welsh was talking to Detectives Huey and Duey when the two Rays walked in, Fraser between them, wolf at his heels. Welsh could almost see the tension and sighed, he'd always known this wasn't going to be easy but he hadn't ever considered the complications that could arise if Kowalski got too attached to the Mountie. 

"Vecchio, it's good to have you back." 

"It's good to be back," the rangy cop glanced at Kowalski, "it feels like I've never been away." 

"Good to see you man," Huey strode over to shake Vecchio's hand. 

"In my office if you please," Welsh motioned to the two men, "both of you." He watched them walk across the room, noting the large bruise already coming up on Kowalski's face. "You," he fixed Fraser with a stare, "can wait out here." 

The two cops were standing stiffly to attention when Welsh entered his office and he waved them to sit. Vecchio, he noted, lounged back in his chair while Kowalski perched on the edge of his, his whole body trembling. 

"Now I know this isn't going to be easy for either of you but you're good cops I don't want to lose you, either of you." Welsh turned to Kowalski, "are you going to want a transfer?" 

"No sir." 

"Vecchio?" 

Kowalski, so used to going by the other man's name, almost responded and it was with a faint smile that Vecchio said, "no sir." 

"Good," Welsh was pleased, he hadn't relished the thought of losing either one of them although he knew that there might be a time in the future when he would wish he hadn't given them the choice. "I've got an assignment for you." 

"For us?" Both men looked at each other and Welsh felt the tension in the air increase. 

"Yeah, you're partners now." 

"Sir.." Vecchio was first to speak. 

"No arguments Vecchio, if you both want to continue working here then it'll have to be as partners. You're good cops," Welsh continued, "I think you'll make a great team." 

"You said you had an assignment for us?" Kowalski prompted. 

"There was a murder last night, a prostitute on her way home. The guy responsible's Jimmy Gomez, I want you to bring him in." 

"Sir." The cops stood and left Welsh's office, the lieutenant staring thoughtfully after them. Jimmy Gomez was a strictly small-time criminal, never used a gun but last night a prostitute had died and Jimmy had been seen fleeing the scene, bringing him in might be easy or it might not but it was the perfect way to test this new partnership. 

"This is what we've got so far," Francesca was waiting near the door to pass her brother a folder. "The victim's name was Maria Bella, she was raped and then her throat was cut. An old man who lives near where the murder took place says he saw the struggle and Gomez running away." 

"What do we know about Gomez?" Vecchio asked. 

"Strictly small-time, although he doesn't think so," Kowalski told him, "we arrest him every few months for petty crimes. He's never done anything like this before." 

"Ray," Fraser stepped forward and both men's heads swivelled round and while Vecchio went to his desk to study the contents of the folder a little more closely, Kowalski and the Mountie huddled in a corner. 

"We're partners now," he told Fraser with a grimace, "I'm gonna have to work with him every day." 

"Ray Vecchio's a good man." 

"Yeah sure. Look Frase, I'm sorry I ran out on you this morning. It was just such a shock and.." 

"You thought that now the man you had been replacing was back I wouldn't want you anymore," Fraser smiled, "Ray Vecchio and I were never more than good friends. It's you I love." 

Kowalski grinned and was about to say something when Vecchio interrupted. "Time to go. You coming with us Benny or does the Dragon Lady have you working extra shifts today?" 

"I'll come." Fraser smiled, it was exceptionally nice to have Ray back, just like old times he thought, although.. well not quite he realised as he remembered Kowalski stalking along beside him. 

Outside Vecchio regarded the GTO with intense dislike, "it's not a patch on the Riv." 

Kowalski bridled, "it's a great car," he protested and would have said more if Fraser hadn't laid a hand on his shoulder. 

The drive to the warehouse where Gomez liked to hold court passed in silence. Fraser was unsure if the two cops weren't saying anything because they were anticipating what lay ahead or because they still disliked each other. 

"Gomez!" Kowalski cupped his hands around his mouth and called out the moment the car door swung open. "Come on Gomez, I know you're here." 

"You don't know nothing Vecchio," a voice snarled and Kowalski spun round. 

"You hiding from me Gomez? Got a guilty conscience?" 

Vecchio and Fraser remained standing by the car as they watched Kowalski wandering around trying to locate Gomez by his voice. 

"I don't have anything to feel guilty about!" 

"You whacked a prostitute, you were seen running away from the scene of the crime. Just give yourself up, make things easy." 

"Easy for you," came the defiant reply, "I ain't whacked nobody, prostitute or otherwise." 

"Actually," Fraser broke in, "your use of the double negative means that you were in fact responsible for Ms Bella's murder." 

"Double negative?" Both Rays were looking at the Mountie in amazement, here they were trying to arrest a possible murderer and Fraser was picking the guy up on his grammar. 

"Well yes, a double negative.." 

"Okay stop right there Fraser," Vecchio interrupted, "now is not the time." 

"On the contrary Ray one should always have the time to learn how to use the English language properly." 

There was the sound of rough laughter and then Gomez called out. "I want to talk to you Vecchio.. alone. The lanky cop and Mountie'll have to stay by the car along with your gun." 

"It's a deal," Kowalski yelled back as he drew his gun from its holster and handed it to Fraser. 

"Are you sure about this?" 

"It's the only way he'll talk to us," Kowalski shrugged, "I know the way he operates." 

"Be careful," Vecchio cautioned. 

"I know what I'm doing," the blonde man scowled at his partner. "Okay Gomez I'm coming, ready or not." 

"Ray..." 

"Don't worry Fraser, I'll be fine." The slightly built man made his way to the warehouse and disappeared inside. Soon afterwards the two waiting men heard a scuffle and a single gunshot and then Kowalski emerged with Gomez in handcuffs. 

"We just want to talk to you, if you didn't kill that girl you've got nothing to worry about." 

"Congratulations," Vecchio opened the back door of the car and pushed Gomez inside. 

"Who's that?" Gomez asked, looking at Vecchio with dislike. 

"Detective Raymond Vecchio, Chicago PD," Kowalski answered, enjoying the look of confusion on the criminal's face. 

They took Gomez back to the 27th and Vecchio sent Kowalski for coffee which made the younger man bridle but he knew Welsh was watching him, judging him and so he swallowed his anger. But on his way to the coffee machine a hand reached out of a closet and hauled him inside. 

"What?" 

A pair of moist lips made contact with his and Kowalski groaned, pushing his body up against the Mountie's with abandon. 

"Ray.." God but his name sounded beautiful coming from those lips. 

"Fraser.." but the Mountie quieted his protest with another kiss and his hands went up around Stan and buried themselves in his hair. 

"Fraser!" It was with difficulty that the cop pulled himself away, "I'm busy. Vecchio's gonna wonder where I am." 

Reluctantly Fraser released him and Kowalski backed out of the closet, straight into Francesca. 

"Ray!" 

"Fran? Uh.. I was.. just.." 

"Looking for some paper," Fraser said as he too came out, holding a wedge of paper in one hand, "there you are Ray." 

"Thanks," Kowalski accepted the paper and hurried off blushing. 

"Where the hell's that coffee?" Vecchio was pacing furiously and then he rounded on Gomez who was grinning at him. "And you can wipe that smirk off your face, you're facing murder charges, remember?" 

Kowalski came back into the interview room with the coffee and Vecchio took it without comment. The kid looked even more of a mess than he had this morning if that were possible A knock on the door distracted Vecchio from his thoughts and he barked, “come in.”

It was Fraser "I was wondering if I might sit in on your interrogation." 

"Sure thing Frase," Kowalski replied easily, "pull up a pew." 

"Thank you kindly." 

Gomez glanced around at the three Police officers, "what is a Mountie doing in Chicago anyway?" 

"Constable Fraser," Kowalski snarled, "first came to Chicago on the trail of his father's killer and for reasons that you don't need to know about has remained attached as li..li.." 

"Liaison," Fraser supplied helpfully. 

"Yeah, liaison with the Canadian consulate. Now," Kowalski folded his arms across his chest, "is there anything else you wanna ask before you tell us why you whacked that prostitute?" 

"I didn't kill her," Gomez protested weakly, "you know that's not my scene." 

"We have an eye-witness," Vecchio stepped forward, determined not to let Kowlaski hog the interrogation, "whose testimony places you at the crime scene." 

Gomez looked around wide-eyed for an escape route. "All right," his mask of bravado slipped a little, "I was there but I didn't kill Maria." 

"We believe you," Fraser said. 

"We do?" Vecchio looked at the Mountie with incredulity in his eyes. "Fraser just explain to me why we should believe a crook with a rap sheet longer than my arm." 

"Maria's throat was cut and you would expect the murderer to have been covered in her blood." 

"So he changed his clothes," Vecchio wasn't getting it. 

"No. The old man's description was remarkably accurate," Fraser had the crime folder open in front of him, "Mr Gomez is wearing the same clothes he was seen in last night." 

Vecchio was shaking his head, "no Fraser, okay, we need a conviction on this one." 

"He's an innocent man." 

"No, see Frase that's where you're wrong," Kowalski butted into the conversation, "Jimmy Gomez is always guilty of something." 

"But not the murder of Maria Bella although he does know who is responsible." 

Gomez had gone white and his whole body was trembling like a leaf caught in a breeze. 

"Whoever it was," Fraser temporised, "he was a drugs dealer." 

"I don't deal in drugs," Gomez protested, "never touch them." 

"There's white powder on your fingers and around your nostrils," Fraser grabbed one of Gomez's hands and licked his pinkie finger. 

"Fraser that's disgusting," this from Vecchio. 

"What? What is it Fraser?" 

"I believe Mr Gomez was in the alley last night where he witnessed the murder of Maria Bella. The man who killed her then gave Gomez a sample of the cocaine he deals in to keep him quiet." 

Three pairs of eyes were staring at the Mountie in amazement. "You worked all that out just by licking his fingers?" 

"Yes." As usual there was no false modesty about the guy, just a straight answer to a straight question. 

Vecchio shook his head and smiled, "not bad Benny, not bad. Now," he turned back to Gomez, "are you going to tell us who murdered that girl or do you wanna play hard ball with me?" 

Gomez's brown eyes flickered desperately from side to side but eventually he said, "it was Bob Shaw."

At the sound of that name Kowalski went white, "are you sure?" 

"Yeah, why? Do ya know him?" 

Kowalski didn't say anything else, just turned and left the room practically at a run. 

"Excuse me," Fraser followed him out but Kowalski was already at the far end of the corridor. "Ray..Ray," but the man didn't stop and Fraser had to follow him outside where the cop was standing, bowed head resting against his car's door-frame. 

"Ray," Fraser put his head on his lover's shoulder who leapt away. "What's wrong?" 

"Bob Shaw.. Robbie Shaw.. Robert Shaw," the names tripped off Kowalski's tongue and Fraser saw that the man's pupils were dilated with fear, "it didn't matter what you called him," he continued roughly, "he was still the biggest and meanest bully in the school." 

"You went to school with this man?" 

"Yeah Frase I did." Kowalski rounded on his friend and then his shoulders drooped. "I'm sorry, none of this is your fault." 

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Fraser put his hands on the man's shoulders, twisting him around. "Tell me what's wrong." 

"Fraser," Kowalski's voice was soft and he avoided the Mountie's gaze, "you remember I told you... what I said when we were stuck in that elevator?" Fraser nodded. "Well Shaw was the ring leader of the gang. He.. I can't face him Fraser. Welsh is gonna send me and Vecchio after him but I can't do it." Kowalski's eyes sparkled with unshed tears and Fraser longed to reach out and embrace him but instead he squeezed his shoulder. 

"I'll talk to Welsh." 

"No," Kowalski shook his head vehemently, "what will you say?" 

"Trust me Ray." 

Vecchio was waiting expectantly at his desk ready to go out and arrest Bob Shaw. Bringing in one of the major players in the Chicago drug scene would look very good on his record and with Gomez's testimony they were guaranteed a conviction. 

"Vecchio, Kowalski," both cops looked up as Welsh, followed by Fraser, emerged from his office, "you're off the case. Huey, Duey go pick up Bob Shaw." 

"Whoa!" Vecchio shot to his feet. "We're off the case? Why?" 

"It doesn't matter Vecchio," Welsh had seen the look of relief on Kowalski's face. 

"It doesn't matter? Of course it matters," Vecchio was fuming and then he saw Kowalski looking guilty and rounded angrily on him. "It's your fault isn't it kid, what's your problem?" 

"Ray," the Mountie tried to calm him down, "is this really so important?" 

"Yes it is," Vecchio declared angrily, "it is." 

"Fine," Welsh shrugged, "Shaw's a tough customer. Vecchio you and Red go along with Huey and Duey." 

"Thank you." Vecchio's tone was bitter and he glared at his partner. 

Once the four Police officers had left Welsh beckoned Kowalski into his office. "Fraser didn't tell me much but what he did say suggests it might be better if you're not here when Shaw's brought in so I'm giving you the rest of the day off." 

Kowalski nodded mutely, he had no wish to argue with Welsh over this, it didn't even bother him what Vecchio might think.


	13. Chapter 13

Finding Shaw was remarkable easy, the man considered himself untouchable and so didn't bother to hide. He was in fact enjoying a late breakfast in a dirty and broken-down diner when they found him. 

"This place should be condemned," Huey commented loudly as they came in through the door. 

"Yeah and they should definitely call in an exterminator," Vecchio added looking directly at Shaw. 

"Is there anything I can do for you gentlemen?" Shaw slowly dropped his knife and fork, patted his lips with a paper napkin and rose to his feet. 

"Just the small matter of a dead prostitute." 

"Is that supposed to mean something to me?" Shaw replied calmly. "Now if that's all I'd like to finish my breakfast." 

Fraser found himself studying the man closely. A few years older than Kowalski he was heavily built with short greying hair and eyes that were the colour of granite. 

"We know you're guilty," Fraser said taking a step forward. 

"And you would be?" 

"He's a Canadian," Vecchio drawled, "now are you going to let us arrest you or not?" 

"You know, I don't think I am." The next moment Shaw had turned, ducking into the kitchen to make his escape. 

Huey and Duey ran back out the way they had come while Vecchio and Fraser pursued him through the kitchen. Shaw sent a whole host of pots and pans clattering to the floor behind him and Vecchio stumbled and fell but Fraser kept on running, darting out through the back entrance, tantalisingly close to Shaw. 

Despite the drug dealer's steady pace Fraser, his Stetson left rocking in the dust behind him, was gaining on the man. Hands reached out, grabbing onto Shaw's legs and bringing him tumbling down. 

Then Fraser was on him, rolling him over and Shaw's grey eyes widened in shock and pain as Fraser's fist pounded into his face. Repeatedly the Mountie hit Shaw and every time the criminal groaned out a protest Fraser saw Ray sobbing over what this man had done to him. Eventually however hands closed on his arms and Fraser was pulled away. 

"It's okay Benny, I think you got him." 

"He's mad," Shaw hissed as Duey slapped on the handcuffs, "I'm going to make a complaint." 

"No one," Huey replied as he helped his partner drag Shaw to his feet, "will believe you so I wouldn't bother wasting your breath." 

"What's got into you Fraser?" Vecchio asked as they drove back to the 27th. "You were really trying to hurt that guy." 

"He was resisting arrest, he's a murderer." 

Fraser definitely didn't seem himself and Vecchio scowled. "When Gerard escaped, the man who killed your father, you went out of your way to protect him. So what happened to all that mountie stuff?" 

"Sometimes other things are more important." Fraser replied quietly. 

"Good work gentlemen," Welsh commented when they got back to the station, "stick him in the holding cell." Then he saw the state of Shaw's face and raised one quizzical eyebrow in the direction of Jack Huey. 

"He was resisting arrest," the detective replied as he marched Shaw away. 

The Lieutenant nodded and turned. "Constable," he called back as an afterthought, "I'd get someone to bathe your knuckles for you, that sort of thing can get infected very quickly." 

"I'll do it Fraser," Francesca appeared at his side, solicitous as always. 

"I'll just get on with the paper work then," Vecchio sounded a little miffed. "Any chance of a cup of coffee Fran?" 

"I'm busy," his sister called back, "get it yourself." 

"Nice to see some things round here haven't changed." 

"Brothers!"   
______________________________________

Bob Shaw was convicted of murder and Kowalski was grimly happy about it. What he wasn't so happy about was the way Vecchio was treating him. His fellow detective called him kid so often that eventually everyone else at the 27th started calling him kid as well. Cops he had been working alongside of since he had taken over Vecchio's life were suddenly treating him as if he were a rookie again. It was driving him mad but he never made any mention of it to Fraser afraid that the Mountie would feel he were being asked to choose between his two friends and Kowalski wasn't sure that Fraser if pushed would choose him. 

Meanwhile Vecchio was still finding it difficult to accept that Fraser and Kowalski were lovers. Calling Kowalski ‘kid’ was his way of dealing with his feelings, mostly resentment at the way the blonde man had slotted so effortlessly into his place and a little jealousy too. Okay so he knew he and Fraser were still friends but this thing with Kowalski it just put everything that little bit out of kilter. 

Welsh sending the two of them on a boring and pointless stake-out didn't help. All Vecchio and Kowalski were required to do was watch a house and take note of any unusual comings and goings. Both men felt that this was a waste of their talents. 

"I can't believe Welsh has us doing this," Kowalski yawned, "what did we do to tick him off this badly?" 

"You got me," Vecchio took a sip of coffee and grimaced, it was cold, a constant in the world of the stake-out. 

Kowalski yawned again, he was just sooo bored and his thoughts turned inevitably to Fraser. The couple had not yet consummated their relationship as Stan was still unable to let Fraser touch him like that and he was too scared to fuck Fraser. 

"I don't want to hurt you," he had protested as his erection wilted. 

“So tell me about Fraser,” Vecchio said, causing Kowalski to look at him in surprise.

“You know him as well as I do,” Kowalski responded, thrown by the question.

“Not exactly true,” Vecchio smiled.

“We’re a couple, that’s it, end of story.”

Vecchio shook his hand and took a sip of his coffee. “No. There’s something else. I see the look in Fraser’s eyes when you’re not around. There’s something else going on.”

“There really isn’t,” Kowalski protested angrily. “We’re a couple.” He repeated the words firmly and scowled at Vecchio. But what if the man was right? What if holding back from Fraser was starting to grate on his lover? What if he wanted Kowalski to move faster? I can’t, Kowalski mentally shook his head, I just can’t. "I'm in love with Fraser." 

"I know.” But Vecchio wasn’t convinced. He’d seen a look of regret in Fraser’s eyes quite a few times now, a look that was directed at Kowlaski and he was starting to wonder why. Perhaps after all Kowalski was not good enough for his friend.

Then silence between them.

A knock on the car window made them both jump and Vecchio rolled down his window. "Hey Jack." 

"You're officially relieved," Huey told him looking none too pleased about it. "So go on, get out of here." 

Vecchio started the car and drove away. "Kid.." he started but he was interrupted. 

"The name's Kowalski not kid." 

"Yeah right." The silence was back and again Vecchio didn't try to break it. They didn't speak again, didn't even look at each other.


	14. Chapter 14

What made matters worse was that when they arrived back at the 27th Fraser was waiting for them but the smile on his face faded when he saw the moody expression shared by both Rays. 

"Ray?" 

"Frase." 

"Benny." Both men looked guilty as sin and both refused to meet his eyes. 

"There's a reception tonight at the consulate," vague confusion in his eyes Fraser got straight to the point, "I have to be there." 

"Knock yourself out Frase." 

"Well are we ready?" Frannie, wearing an extremely short dress, hurried up to them. 

Kowalski groaned. "Your birthday meal. Fran I'm sorry I forgot." 

"But we're still going right?" 

"Of course we are," Vecchio said cheerfully, "I wouldn't let my little sister down on her birthday now would I?" 

"Benton?" 

"I'm sorry Francesca but I have to work tonight." 

Frannie's face fell a mile and Kowalski, who knew exactly how she felt, wrapped an arm around her. "Cheer up Fran, just think you get me and Ray all to yourself." 

"And Ma," Vecchio added. 

They drove to an Italian restaurant, stopping along the way to collect Mrs Vecchio who picked up on the negative vibes between her 'sons' almost immediately. 

"What's wrong?" She wanted to know. "What have you two been fighting about this time?" 

"Ma!" Vecchio protested from behind the wheel. 

"I don't like to see unhappiness Raymond but whatever your problems are you must put them behind you, this is Francesca's night, although why she couldn't have worn a longer dress I don't know." 

"Ma!" It was Francesca's turn to protest and Kowalski sitting next to her on the back seat grinned and Frannie swatted him across the back of the head. 

"Ma!" 

In the front passenger seat Mrs Vecchio smiled to herself, she loved her family and it had upset her terribly when Ray had gone undercover although she had been quick to take his replacement to her heart. Now her son was back and she felt doubly blessed to have so many people she cared about around her. 

Throughout the meal her sharp eyes took note of all the tension and sly glances being exchanged. When Frannie went off to powder her nose and Kowalski too decided on a trip to the bathroom she bent across the table and asked Ray, "are you going to tell me what is going on?" 

Vecchio's face was blank. 

"Caro don't lie to me. I can see there is something wrong, have you argued?" 

"Ma please leave it," Ray begged, "it's nothing." 

"You say that but I can tell it's not true. It's the Mountie isn't it? I see in your eyes that you are unhappy about the relationship he and your partner share, how jealous you are." 

"I'm not jealous Ma. I just.. I don’t want Benny to get hurt" 

“You think Stanley will hurt him?”

"I don’t know but there’s something neither of them is telling me. I can see it in Benny’s eyes. He’s my friend. It's hard Ma." 

"I know, I know," she patted his hand and smiled encouragingly as Kowalski slipped back into his seat. 

"Ray." The two men spoke simultaneously and Kowalski laughed. 

"Call me Stan," he offered, okay so he hated the name but anything was preferable to kid. 

Vecchio grinned at him and tried the name out for size. "Stan? Yeah I guess I can call you that." 

"See," Mrs Vecchio exclaimed as Frannie came back, "everyone is friends again." 

After the meal was over Vecchio offered Kowalski a lift home but the blonde cop refused. He didn’t want to go home just yet, he needed time and space to think about what Vecchio had said about the look in Fraser’s eyes. If the Mountie were growing tired of Ray’s reluctance to take that one more step in their relationship perhaps they wouldn’t be in a relationship for that much longer. There was also a question over just how much Vecchio knew. Telling Fraser what had happened to him all those years ago had been the hardest thing ever and Kowalski didn’t feel ready to tell that to anyone else.

He found a bar, it was dark and anonymous, not normally the sort of place he would go but it seemed appropriate somehow. 

“I need a drink,” he told the barman, “something strong.” After about a dozen glasses Kowalski felt his head starting to spin and so he retreated away from the bar to a corner table where he could nurse his glass in peace.

“Do you want some company?” The burly man didn’t wait for an answer and squeezed himself in next to Kowalski. The cop’s heart started to beat a little faster, particularly when the stranger reached down and caressed his leg. “Not very talkative are you? That’s okay. What I’ve got planned doesn’t require much conversation.”

Kowalski’s throat was frozen with fear as he felt the man’s hand continue its progress towards his groin. Fraser! If only he’d gone home this wouldn’t be happening.

“Scram why don’t you.” 

The stranger looked up in irritation at the voice but Kowalski would have cheered if he could. It was Vecchio, scowling and making it pretty clear that he wanted the man groping Kowalski to leave.

“Avoiding talking to Benny?” Once the man had gone Vecchio seated himself opposite Kowalski, the scowl still on his face.

“Not exactly.”

“So this is it? This is what the issue is?” Vecchio sounded disgusted. “I guess I can see why Fraser would have a problem with this.”

“You don’t know shit,” Kowalski snapped angrily. “Fraser.. Fraser said he was alright with this.”

“I find that hard to believe. You coming here, picking up other men.”

“What?”

“I think you heard kid.” Vecchio shook his head. “No wonder Fraser’s unhappy.”

“Fraser told you that? In actual words?”

“Not actual words,” Vecchio was forced to admit. “But as good as.”

“I don’t need this.” Kowalski stood up. “You are so far from the truth.”

“Then why don’t you tell me?” Vecchio snarled, standing up and grabbing hold of Kowalski. “Because from where I’m standing it looks a hell of a lot like you’re cheating on Benny.”

Kowalski was shaking, he was angry but scared as well. “I’m going home now,” he told Vecchio. “Alone to Ben. You don’t need to know anything else.” Kowalski pulled away from the other cop and, mustering what little dignity he had left, considering how drunk he was, he stalked out of the bar.  
___________________________________

There was a dim light on in the apartment which meant Fraser was home. Kowaslki sighed, he felt sick and would probably have a hangover in the morning. He hadn’t drunk like that in a long time, not since he’d moved in with Fraser and the Mountie would know that there was something wrong.

He opened the front door as quietly as possible hoping that Fraser was asleep but he wasn’t.

“Ray!”

“Hey Frase.” Kowalski forced a smile. “Think I might go to bed.”

“Is something wrong?”

Perceptive as always and Kowalski sighed. “I’m fine Ben really.”

“Have I done something wrong?” Fraser looked so worried that Kowalski abandoned his hopes of bed.

“It’s not you.”

“Ray.” 

“I’ve been drinking. Vecchio..”

“What happened?” Fraser was all too aware that his two friends were still not getting along, he hadn’t let it concern him too much so far but maybe that had been a mistake. 

“Vecchio thinks I’m cheating on you?”

Fraser sank down onto the couch and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“I was drinking,” Kowalski hurried to explain, “some slimeball comes over and gets heavy with me. Fraser, I froze and I think Vecchio thought that there was something going on between us. He said,” he faltered, “he said he sees something in your eyes. Says he knows you’re not happy with me.”

“Ray.”

“Are you happy with me Ben? I don’t know, maybe I can try harder. If you don’t want to wait..”

“I will wait as long as I have to,” Fraser said softly, standing up and wrapping his arms around Ray. “I love you. You need to believe me.”

“Okay.” But to be honest Kowalski was no longer sure about anything and he pulled away from Fraser and walked into the bedroom without saying another word.

Kowalski was asleep when Fraser finally came to bed and the Mountie lay awake for a long time before finally slipping into a restless sleep. The only think he had resolved to do by the morning was to talk to Ray Vecchio. No doubt his friend meant well but his interference was causing Ray, his Ray, considerable pain and that had to be stopped.


	15. Chapter 15

“Please Fraser, don’t do this.” Kowalski was still trying to dissuade his lover from talking to Vecchio. “We’re partners now remember.”

“That doesn’t give him the right to make you unhappy, to make you doubt yourself, to make you doubt me.” Fraser too was adamant.

There was nothing Kowalski could do to stop Fraser from coming to the 27th and once there the Mountie made a beeline for Vecchio just as Francesca seemed to have the same idea. 

"Fran," he caught her arm, "now is really not a good time." 

"What's going on?" She wanted to know. 

"Something that shouldn't be happening," Kowalski told her, seeing Vecchio spring to his feet, gesticulating wildly at Fraser. "It's nothing Fran." 

"It doesn't look like nothing," the woman pulled herself away from the man's grip. 

"What's up with Red?" Huey wanted to know. "Someone step on his hat?" 

"Something like that," Kowalski turned away, hoping that no one would get near enough the pair to actually hear what they were arguing about. 

"He's my partner!" Vecchio's words rang out across the room and Kowalski groaned. Nice one Ray. 

"Kowalski!" The bellow was from Welsh. "What in hell's going on?" 

"Sir?" Perhaps pretending he didn't know anything would work - it didn't. 

"The Mountie, what's up with him and Vecchio?" Welsh wasn't going to let this go. 

"Sir?" Kowalski didn't protest when the lieutenant grabbed him by the shoulder and propelled him into his office, he'd known Welsh would see something was wrong, had tried to tell Fraser that earlier this morning. 

"It's nothing," Kowalski insisted, "just a misunderstanding that's all." 

"Some misunderstanding. I didn't know Red was capable of getting that upset." 

"No, neither did I," Kowalski murmured quietly. 

"I'm only going to say this once Kowalski. I want whatever problems you three are having kept out of my station. Understand?" 

"Yes sir," Kowalski all but snapped to attention. 

"Now get out of my office." 

Vecchio and Fraser were both waiting for him but he pushed past them. 

 

"Ray.." 

"Stan.." 

He ignored their attempts to apologise, grabbed his badge off his desk and started for the exit. 

"Don't you dare try to follow me," he waved his gun belligerently. 

Fraser and Vecchio watched him go and Diefenbaker glanced up at Fraser. 

"Very well but don't let him see you." The wolf barked in reply and then trotted away after Kowalski. 

"I have to get to work." Fraser straightened his Stetson. 

"Benny please." 

"Goodbye Ray." 

Vecchio watched the Mountie leave and then turned around and went back to his desk, carefully avoiding Frannie's accusing gaze. 

"Can't you go and do something useful?" He asked 

"Like you you mean?" She snapped back, "what's up with you and Ray anyway?" 

"None of your business," Ray shot her his most withering look before sinking down behind his desk and putting his head in his hands. 

Kowalski, his natural inclination to hot-headedness, exacerbated by recent events had walked out of the 27th and straight into danger. There was one particular warehouse where for some time now the detective had suspected that something big was going on but evidence was extremely thin on the ground and Kowalski determined to head along there and see what was going down. Strictly speaking procedure denied him the right and for a moment he did think of heading back or at least telling someone where he was going. 

"Procedure?" He laughed, that was something Fraser worried about, he wasn't going to let it stop him, besides he could handle himself and so he had walked straight into a fire fight between two of the largest criminal families in Chicago. 

"Shit!" He ducked down behind a stack of crates and crouched there, breathing heavily. What was he going to do?" If anyone recognised him they'd forget their quarrel, at least until he was dead. The yells and screams of wounded and dying men came to his ears and Kowalski took a firmer grip on his gun. 

"Hey!" That shout was a little too close for comfort and then two men ran out from behind the crates, they stopped when they saw Kowalski and he made a quick decision. 

"Chicago PD," he leapt up and fired his gun into the air, "you're all under arrest." Then he turned and run, legs pumping desperately, he had to make it outside. Fresh air struck him in the face and then he realised that he had stepped out of the frying pan and into the fire. Thankfully everyone was too stunned by his unexpected appearance to shoot at him but that wouldn't last for long. 

Half of the warehouse was covered in scaffolding, if he could get up there he might be able to get away. He flung himself sideways grabbing the nearest bar and swinging his legs up just as the first bullet pierced the air. He pulled himself up, not stopping to think but then he heard a bark. 

"Dief!" Fraser's wolf was looking up at him and he was so relieved to see him that he didn't allow himself to get angry at Fraser for sending Dief after him. "Go get help." The wolf barked again and disappeared and Kowalski resumed his climb. 

He stopped halfway up where the wall began a slow slope towards the roof, breathing hard he clung like a monkey to the scaffold, out of reach of the bullets until that is they sent men after him. How long he hung there before the scaffold started shaking and two dark heads came into view he didn't know but he threw his gun away, more paperwork, and awkwardly raised one hand above his head. 

"Looks like you got me." 

The thugs didn't seem to appreciate his humour and simply reached forward, dragging him down the way he had come. 

"Hey careful," he protested indignantly as he almost fell off the scaffold, "do you want me alive or not?" 

"Shut up." The man who spoke had a purple face and beads of sweat were popping on his forehead, Kowalski guessed he didn't do this sort of thing very often. Eventually they dragged him to the ground and marched him in front of Riva, their boss. 

"Always walking into trouble Vecchio," the short man tutted. 

"It's Detective Kowalski actually," the blonde man squirmed, "do you think you could get your goons to loosen their grip a little?" 

Riva nodded and if anything the thugs held him even tighter. 

"Let's just get this over with shall we," Kowalski said, "I've got a busy schedule to keep to." 

"All appointments," Riva was grinning, "have been cancelled." 

Kowalski's blue eyes flicked from side to side. "The normal right? You beat me up, I spend a coupla days in hospital and no hard feelings?" 

Riva shook his head, "not this time. I'm tired of playing games, I'm afraid you know too much." 

"And what exactly is it that I know?" Kowalski asked, desperately trying to stall Riva, "I'm just a D.U.M. dumb cop remember?" 

One of the goons snickered at this but Riva silenced him with a look. "Time to say goodnight Detective." 

Kowalski tilted his head, "you know I think you're right," then he watched as Riva was sent tumbling to the ground by an airborne Mountie. 

The quicker of the two goons reached for his gun. 

"Drop it!" A voice growled and Kowalski gasped with relief, there was Vecchio with his gun trained on the men. "Now let him go." 

Released Kowalski inclined his head graciously, "nice of you to join us." 

"Back-up's on it's way," Vecchio said, "cuff those two Stan, I'm going inside." The tall detective ran into the warehouse, Fraser, after smiling quickly at Kowalski, close on his heels. 

"All right," the man grinned as he cuffed the goons, "you have the right to remain silent, you have the right.. come on boys you know the words, sing along." Neither of the two men said a word, they didn't have to, the scowls on their faces spoke volumes. "Now I'm gonna leave you with the wolf," Kowalski reached down and patted Dief, "and I don't want you trying anything funny else he'll tear your throats out. Understand?" White-faced they nodded. 

"Dief," the wolf barked, "Okay I won't be long." Then Kowalski turned and ran back inside the warehouse. 

After the bright sunshine outside it seemed as dark as night inside and Kowalski couldn't see Fraser or his partner but then once his eyes adjusted he saw Fraser standing guard over a group of men surrounded by scattered packing crates. It didn't take a great leap of imagination to work out why they were unconscious. A shout distracted him and Kowalski twisted round to see Larry, Riva's second-in-command closing in on Vecchio, the detective had his hands in the air and Kowalski knew that he was trying to reason with Larry, he also knew that it wouldn't work, Larry was even more of a psycho than Riva. 

Kowalski took a deep breath and leapt up onto a stack of packing crates running as lightly as he could and trying to ignore the fact that he might be sent tumbling to the ground at any moment, Kowalski headed towards the two men. As he drew parallel he could see that Larry was preparing to fire. 

"Hey Larry, you son-of-a-bitch." The thug raised his head indignantly just in time to see Kowalski leaping down on top of him. The gun went off. 

"Stan!" Vecchio, unhurt, stared helplessly at the two men tangled up at his feet. Fraser heard the call and came running over with Vecchio's help he reached down and pulled Kowalski over. Blood trickled from a shoulder wound and leaving Vecchio to cuff Larry the Mountie picked his lover up in gentle arms and carried him outside. 

The back-up had arrived and Riva was safely in custody. Lieutenant Welsh looking distinctly unhappy strode over to Fraser. 

"What happened?" 

"Ray just saved Ray's life." 

"Someone get us an ambulance." Welsh called out and then he looked down at Kowalski whose eyes had opened. "I'd say we're going to have a few things to discuss. Following procedure, that sort of thing," Welsh sighed, "get him out of my sight Constable." 

"Yes sir." 

Welsh ran a hand over his grizzled hair, wondering if Kowalski would ever stop running blindly into danger. Okay so he had managed to nail some big-time criminals but the way it had been done.. Welsh was going to be asked some pretty tough questions pretty soon and he just hoped, for Ray's sake, that he could come up with some satisfactory answers.


	16. Chapter 16

Kowalski, despite the bullet in his shoulder, was actually feeling quite pleased with himself. Sure he knew Welsh would have a few choice words to say to him but the man's bark was worse than his bite so he wasn't that worried. No the only bum note in this whole thing was Fraser, the Mountie looked so sad that Ray just wanted to reach out and.. he didn't know whether he wanted to kiss him or punch him. 

"You're angry with me aren't you?" 

"No Ray I'm not angry with you." 

"Disappointed then, c'mon just tell me." 

"What do you want me to say?" 

"You see Frase," Kowalski grimaced as his shoulder twinged, "that's not the way it's supposed to work. I shouldn't have to tell you what to say." 

"So how does it work?" 

"Damn it Fraser will you stop being so reasonable. Yell at me or something." Kowalski was getting more and more agitated but he couldn't move because Fraser was sitting on the hospital bed effectively pinning him down. 

"Yelling at you would help how?" 

"It would make me feel better. No scratch that," he added when he saw Fraser's face, "I don't want to feel better." 

"Ah." 

"Okay," the cop tried another tack, "if you hadn't sent Dief after me what would have happened?" 

"Ray," Fraser took the man's hands in his, "nothing did happen." 

"That's not the point." 

"Yes it is. Ray you're headstrong, you dive into danger without thinking, you're loyal, you'd give your life for your friends.." 

"Hey Frase I'm blushing." 

"What I'm trying to say is that, that's you," Fraser paused and colour rose in his cheeks, "that's the man I fell in love with, that's the man I want to spend the rest of my life with." 

"Sorry," Ray was squinting up at the Mountie, "did you just say what I think you said?" 

"Ray," Fraser stood up and then, goddam Mountie always had to do things properly, he went down on one knee, "will you marry me?" 

Kowalski just gaped at Fraser, still wasn't quite sure of what he had heard but then he saw the hope in Fraser's blue eyes begin to turn into doubt. "Yes Fraser, I'll marry you, lest I would if we could." 

The Mountie bounced to his feet looking so much like a little boy that Kowalski had to stifle a grin. "We can." 

"We can?" 

Fraser was nodding eagerly. "There's an ancient Inuit marriage ceremony that makes no gender specifications whatsoever. Of course it wouldn't be considered legally binding.." 

"It would to me," there was a whole world of feeling in Kowalski's words and Fraser's eyes misted over. 

"We would have to go to Canada." 

"Fine by me. When? Tomorrow?" 

Fraser was trying hard to look stern. "You're not well enough to travel." 

"Well as soon as I am then. Fraser?" 

"All right." 

"Okay, I've got two cups of coffee, one tea and as wide a selection of doughnuts as I could find. What?" Vecchio had backed into the hospital room and was only now noticing the stupid grins his friends were wearing. 

Fraser went towards Vecchio and took the tray from him, smiling. I forgive you, the smile said, let's start again. 

"Stan?" Vecchio turned to his partner who grinned inanely at him. "Fraser? Will someone please just tell me what's going on?" 

"Do you still want to be our best man?" 

Ray's eyes opened wide. "Really? You actually popped the question?" 

Fraser couldn't hide his joy any longer. "Yes." 

"Congratulations," Vecchio shook Fraser's hand eagerly. "Can I kiss the bride? Look no hard feelings okay?" 

"None." Fraser and Kowalski spoke simultaneously and then all three men were laughing. 

"You know son," Fraser Sr appeared and he too was smiling, "when I told you that partnership is like a marriage I didn't expect you to take me quite so literally. Congratulations son."   
________________________________________

It wasn't hard convincing Welsh to give them some time off, although they didn't tell him why they were going to Canada and since Fraser hadn't had a single day off for the past eight months Thatcher found she couldn't say no. 

Lieutenant Welsh merely hoped that whatever differences there still were between Vecchio and Kowalski they would have sorted themselves out by the time they got back. "Have a good trip," Welsh said sincerely but he couldn't help thinking about what had happened the last time Fraser and Vecchio had headed north, after that incident with Victoria and he hoped they'd be all right this time. There was definitely more to this holiday then they were telling him, Fraser and Kowalski kept exchanging happy little glances when they thought no one was looking and even Vecchio seemed more relaxed than he had for a long time. 

The three men were to take a plane out to Toronto, then another out into the wilds where Fraser had a friend who could fly them a few miles further north after which they'd be on their own. 

"This remind you of anything?" Vecchio asked as he gazed down at the itinerary on his desk. 

"Nothing like that's going to happen. Ray you really have to learn to be more positive." 

"Yeah right," Vecchio glanced sideways at Kowalski who just shrugged and mouthed, "what can you do" at his partner. 

Fraser saw the look, "you two really should trust me." 

"Oh we trust you Benny," Vecchio smiled. 

"Yeah we trust you to lead us straight into danger," Kowalski chuckled, taking any sting out of his words by letting his fingers linger over Fraser's. 

"Breathe that air!" Fraser inhaled deeply. "Now you don't get air like that in Chicago." 

"It's cold," Kowalski complained. 

"It's Canada." 

"So what now Benny?" Vecchio asked glancing around the tiny air-field, "how long we gotta wait before your friend turns up?" 

"An hour," Fraser was pulling their bags into a pile, his own small pack resting on the top and he tossed Diefenbaker a bag of peanuts, "two, a day perhaps, certainly no longer." 

"You're kidding right?" 

"No Ray, I never kid." 

"No of course you don't Benny," Vecchio rolled his eyes at Kowalski who simply grinned and went to stand behind Fraser, wrapping his arms around the Mountie's waist. Fraser leant back into the embrace and whispered, "do you really want to be here?" 

"Yes Fraser, we're getting married, why would I want to be anywhere else?" 

"Is there anywhere around here we can get a decent meal?" Vecchio asked. 

"We ate before we left Toronto," Fraser pointed out. 

"That's right we did," Ray's voice was thick with sarcasm, "and how many hours ago was that?" Diefenbaker dropped his peanuts at Ray's feet and looked up, wagging his tail, "no Dief you keep 'em." 

Kowalski, as usual bursting with nervous energy, had wandered away from his friends and into the small office on the other side of the grassy runway. 

"Hey Fraser!" His shout brought the two men running and they found him crouched beside the unconscious form of a middle-aged man. Kowalski glanced up at the Mountie, "this your buddy?" 

"Yes," Fraser rolled the man over, eyes set as he searched for a pulse. "He's alive." 

Ray Vecchio had a gun in his hand. "Do you think whoever did this is still around?" 

"No. I would imagine that whoever assaulted Steve did so in order to gain access to the plane," Fraser pointed at a hook on the wall, "the keys are missing." 

Kowalski and Vecchio exchanged glances and then Steve groaned, Fraser helping him up into a sitting position. The man put a hand to his head, "what happened?" 

"You don't remember?" 

"Benton? Benton Fraser? What in God's name are you doing here?" 

"You're supposed to be flying us north remember?" 

"Of course, that whole wedding thing," he looked up at Kowalski and Vecchio, "so which one's the lucky guy?" Kowalski could feel himself flushing. "I always did say you had good taste." 

"Thank you." Gently Fraser's fingers parted the hair on the crown of Steve's head. "That's quite a bump." 

"Some guy clocked me one," Steve sounded vague, "I don't remember what he looked like," Steve was glancing around the office, "he took the plane didn't he?" 

"Is there anything else missing?" Vecchio asked, "any money.." 

"Let's see," Steve climbed to his feet and started going through the desk drawers, "petty cash is still here," he shrugged, "my gun however isn't." 

Fraser cleared his throat and both Kowalski and Vecchio spoke at the same time. 

"No Fraser." 

"Forget it Benny." 

"But a crime has been committed." 

"Yeah but we're on vacation. You and Stan are meant to be getting married in five days." 

"And we will," Fraser insisted, "all I'm suggesting is that we take a small detour first to apprehend this criminal." 

"How small is small?" Vecchio demanded. "He's in a plane Benny, he'll be halfway to Russia by now." 

"No he won't," Steve chipped in, "I was just about to get round to refuelling the plane when the guy attacked me." 

"How much fuel was in the plane?" 

"Enough to get him fifty, maybe sixty miles." 

Vecchio groaned. "Stan back me up here, we don't even know which direction the guy's taken." 

"He's right you know Fraser," Kowalski added quietly. 

"Actually that's not quite true," Fraser strode over to the office door and stood gazing at the blue sky. "When we arrived I noticed a faint plume of exhaust over there," he pointed to an indeterminate point in the sky, "that would indicate that he was flying north. Add to that," he continued spotting Kowalski and Vecchio exchanging glances, "the fact that the marks on the runway show that the plane was facing south but then was turned around prior to take-off." 

"And?" 

"Well we can deduce from this that our criminal is flying north." 

"Our criminal? When did he become our criminal Benny?" 

"When he stole our plane," Fraser pointed out with a faint smile. 

"You want us to go after him don't you?" Vecchio stared accusingly at the Mountie. "What about the wedding?" 

"We would be travelling in the right direction," Fraser pointed out a little smugly. 

"All right," Kowalski interrupted, "let's just go out there, get our man or whatever the Mountie motto is and then we can get married." 

"Actually Ray.." 

"Save it Fraser," Kowalski's words were harsh but there was a broad grin on his face. "I know that's not really your motto okay but just go with me on this one." 

"Understood." 

"I'll radio for help," Steve put in, "could be a couple of days before they get here though." 

"If the man is armed and it would seem that he is back-up would be advisable." 

Vecchio nodded, "okay so we wait here for some of your mountie buddies to show and then we go after him." 

"No I'm afraid not, we have to go after him now before the trail goes cold." 

Vecchio flung his arms up in exasperation, "Fraser he's in a plane." 

"Which is running out of fuel." 

"He's got a gun," Vecchio refused to concede, "and we don't have a clue who this guy is. He could be an escaped convict, a drug smuggler or a crazed axe-murderer. Does what I'm saying mean anything to you Benny?" 

"Yes Ray." 

"Thank you." 

"It means that we should set out as soon as possible, this man is potentially very dangerous, there's no telling what he might do next." 

"I think I can guess," Vecchio drawled. 

"You can?" 

"No Fraser." 

"Well why would you say you knew if you didn't?" 

"If we go after him he'll try and kill us, that's what I know. He's not gonna want three cops trailing him." 

"At least we have strength of numbers on our side." 

"Sometimes," Vecchio scowled, "just sometimes I really wonder why I even bother opening my mouth." 

Kowalski was trying hard not to laugh and only partially succeeding. Fraser was staring at him, "Ray are you all right?" 

"Yeah Fraser I'm fine." 

"Well then I suggest we get started." 

"I'll put some food together for you," Steve said, "basic rations." 

"That's the ticket." 

"Fraser I swear every day you're becoming more and more strange." 

"Well thank you Ray." 

"It wasn't a compliment Benny."


	17. Chapter 17

The three men were ready to leave within a half hour, Diefenbaker was the only one who escaped having something strapped to his back and Vecchio glowered at the wolf. "You know you could stay here, you at least get the choice." 

"Ray really, anyone listening to you would think you didn't want to be here." 

"I don't. This is supposed to be a vacation Benny, those words mean anything to you? No I didn't think they would." 

Fraser ignored him, shook hands with Steve and turned his face towards the wilderness ahead. "Are we all ready?" 

"No," Vecchio replied but he did at least follow Fraser without further comment, Kowalski trailing behind them still trying not to laugh. 

The men seemed to have been walking for days by the time Fraser called a halt. "We'll stay here for the night," Fraser let his pack fall to the ground, "then tomorrow we'll start heading north-west." 

"I thought you said the plane was heading north?" Vecchio grumbled. 

"And so it was however," Fraser unfolded a map and the two cops crowded round, "he will be forced to land and the only area suitable is here," Fraser indicated the area with a forefinger, "north west of here." 

"There? Benny it looks no different from anywhere else on this stupid map," Vecchio stood up, "I'm going to go get some wood." 

Once Vecchio was out of earshot Fraser turned to Kowalski, "Ray.." He didn't get the chance to say anything else because Kowalski was kissing him, lips wet and warm on Fraser's, stubble scrapping his skin. The Mountie put his arms around his lover, pulling him close, ravishing his mouth with his tongue but eventually they broke apart. 

"I'm sorry," Fraser started to apologise. 

"What for?" 

"For all of this," Fraser gestured at the woodland around them, "for dragging you off after this man." 

"We're cops Fraser," Kowalski shrugged, "and he stole our plane." 

Fraser smiled, "yes he did." 

Kowalski put his hand up to the Mountie's face and pushed an errant strand of dark hair back into place. They smiled at each other and Fraser found himself reflecting on how lucky he had been to find someone like Ray Kowalski, someone who made him feel complete for the first time in his life. "I love you," Fraser whispered softly and enfolded Kowalski in his arms. 

"Very touching," Ray commented dryly from the edge of the clearing, "now could I get some help here." Vecchio had his arms full of wood although there was in actual fact more wood scattered at his feet than he was holding. 

The night seemed to settle in quickly, despite their being so far north and the three men huddled around the fire talking in low voices about remarkably little. Eventually Vecchio yawned out loud. "Time to get some shut eye. Although," he added reaching out for his sleeping bag, "I don't think it's gonna be easy to sleep." 

"You'll be fine," Fraser assured him, "there's absolutely nothing to be afraid of. Of course there is the odd bear but they usually.." 

"You're not helping Fraser," Vecchio growled, pulling a fold of sleeping bag up over his head. 

Fraser and Kowalski moved away from the camp fire and stood staring at each other. 

"Are you sure about this?" 

Kowalski nodded, "I told you in Toronto I was, I won't change my mind." 

Fraser kissed Kowalski slowly, moving from his lips to his neck and back again. carefully he drew Ray's hand up to his mouth, suckling his fingers, an expression of his love. In the light of the faint crescent moon Fraser undressed his lover, kissing every piece of flesh as it was exposed to his hungry eyes. 

Kowalski's hands came up helping to divest the Mountie of his own clothing until finally, both naked they embraced. The air was chill but neither seemed to notice. Gently Fraser pushed Ray down and began to run his fingers lightly across the man's body until he was crying out, begging the Mountie to touch him in the one place Fraser was neglecting. For the briefest of moments Fraser's warm mouth encircled Ray's cock and then trailed a wet path up his stomach. That same mouth then moistened a finger which Fraser pushed gently into Ray. 

The younger man's body arched upwards and he cried out. "Jesus Fraser!" 

The Mountie smiled and inserted another finger bringing forth yet another groan. Kowalski through the cloud of passion couldn't believe how good this felt. 

"Fraser please..." 

"Now?" 

"Now!" 

On the other side of the clearing Vecchio was trying hard not to listen to Stan's passionate grunts and squeals as Fraser fucked him with single-minded intensity. It was impossible however and Vecchio pulled his sleeping bag up around his head and tried to think about something other than what his friends were doing.  
____________

Vecchio awoke the next morning to find Fraser and Kowalski already up and preparing to move on. 

"So what's for breakfast?" He yawned and stretched out arms stiff from having been confined inside a sleeping bag all night. Kowalski handed him a bowl of what to Ray's jaundiced eyes looked suspiciously like mashed-up grubs. "What is this?" 

"It's porridge." 

"Porridge?" 

"I saw Fraser make it myself." 

"Thanks," Vecchio accepted the bowl and a spoon, it was warm and filling, that was all that really mattered. 

They moved on as soon as Ray had finished eating, heading north west, following Fraser blindly into whatever might lie ahead. Just like always, Vecchio reflected as he shifted his heavy pack on his shoulders. 

It was midday when they came across the plane and Fraser inspected it closely. There was surprisingly little damage so the man was presumably knowledgeable about aircraft. The only other things that Fraser found were a chocolate bar, quickly devoured by Diefenbaker, and a pair of mangled handcuffs. 

"Escaped prisoner," Vecchio said when he spotted Fraser holding them, "he's armed and presumably doesn't want to go back to prison." Ray groaned and rubbed a hand across his face, "now I'm starting to talk like you." 

"Is that really such a bad thing?" Fraser asked innocently. 

"Oh Benny you have no idea." 

Kowalski grinned, "so what now Frase?" 

"We keep on looking," Fraser bent to pick up his pack but Kowalski stopped him. 

"Are you sure about this Fraser? Are you sure we can bring him in?" Two pairs of blue eyes met and two smiles were exchanged. "All right then, let's keep moving." 

They walked single-file all except for Dief who ran back and forwards between them determined not to let any of the men out of his sight. 

Fraser seemed sure they were on the track of the escaped prisoner and when they decided to call a halt for the night just as the sun was beginning to sink in the west he said cheerfully, "we'll catch him tomorrow." 

Vecchio sighed and sank down onto the ground. "Whatever you say Benny, whatever you say." 

Kowalski moved forward and wrapped his arms around Fraser. "I love you Mountie." 

Fraser held the man close and kissed him. "It won't be long now," he promised, "we'll be married soon." Neither man saw Ray turn away, pretending to lay out the fire. 

"We need some water," Vecchio finally interrupted gruffly and with reluctance Fraser and Kowalski broke apart. 

"I'll go and get it." Kowalski picked up a couple of the bottles he'd been lugging around and strode off. 

"Ray," Fraser called after him, "Ray, Ray, Ray." 

"What?" 

"The spring's that way." Fraser pointed in the opposite direction and laughed as Ray swung round indignantly. 

"I knew that!" He marched back past Fraser with a determined look on his face and disappeared into the trees. 

Both men, Ray trying unsuccessfully to light the fire and Fraser sorting through the rations, heard the gun shot. Both men's heads spun round and both men sprang to their feet. Vecchio's gun was in his hand and he was sprinting away into the trees with Fraser close on his heels.


	18. Chapter 18

The first thing that Vecchio saw was a body lying close to the spring, three water bottles abandoned close by. Fraser was on his heels and an inarticulate cry burst from the man’s lips. Vecchio could see a clear trail from the spring back into the trees and he raced to follow it, it might be possible to catch the criminal if he was quick. Concern over what he had seen would have to wait. As he ran into the trees he found Diefenbaker running next to him and he felt a surge of gratitude toward the wolf and also a sense of relief. If Diefenbaker were coming with him maybe it meant that Stan was okay, maybe.

Fraser’s hands were shaking as he knelt down by Ray’s body. He had no idea where Vecchio or Diefenbaker were, the only thing he could think about was Ray. There was blood, Ray’s blood, red and thick and frantic Fraser felt for a pulse. At first he couldn’t feel anything and he rubbed his fingers on his shirt and tried again.

“He’s alive.” Fraser Sr stepped forward and bent down over Kowalski. 

Fraser didn’t even glance at his father but instead tried to find a pulse again. There, oh God, there it was, weak and too rapid but it was there.

“Although possibly not for much longer. He needs a hospital son.”

Fraser bit back a cutting response, now was not the time to have an argument with his dead father. He had to find the wound, stop the bleeding and then he would worry about how he was going to get Ray to safety. Gently he searched for the wound. 

“You need to apply pressure. Otherwise he’ll bleed out.” 

Having found the wound Fraser did as his father had suggested, all his first aid knowledge seemed to have deserted him so he was grateful for the ghost’s presence. Keeping a hand pressed against Kowalski Fraser bent forward so he could put his lips to the injured man’s ear.

“Stay with me Ray. Help’s coming and you’re going to be alright, I promise. I love you remember and I’m not going to lose you, not now.” Fraser could feel tears welling up but he fought them back, there was no time to cry. Maybe just maybe he could save Ray through the power of his voice.

“Ray just think, think of all the time we’ve spent together, how long we’ve loved each other, none of that should be in vain. You’re so brave and kind and I don’t want to have to live without you. Please Ray.” Fraser closed his eyes, maybe he was imagining it but he felt sure Ray’s pulse was getting stronger. “And when darkness falls/ Lights burn out and winter calls/ But you I hold to, ever strong/ My life, my love, my light, my song.” The last words were spoken quietly and Fraser was sure he felt a response from Ray and he smiled.

“That was beautiful Benny.”

Vecchio was standing next to him, compassionate gaze fixed on Kowalski. “He’s going to be alright Benny. The cavalry’s here.”

Fraser noticed then the policemen filing into the clearing, two of them he noted dispassionately had the man they had been chasing in cuffs and overhead he could hear the whirr of a small plane engine. Fraser bent and pressed his lips against Kowalski’s forehead. There would be medics and a hospital and maybe, just maybe, everything would be alright after all.


	19. Chapter 19

“Frase?” He struggled to force the word out and it was barely a whisper, so he tried again. “Fraser? Ben?” It took a while for him to convince his eyes to open and when he did he could just make out a figure on the other side of the dim room.

“Hey!” Kowalski forced the word out of his mouth and this time he managed to put enough force behind it that it caught the attention of the man opposite.

“Welcome back Kowalski.”

The voice wasn’t Fraser’s and Ray closed his eyes again.

“I sent Fraser to get some sleep.”

“And you thought you’d stay and keep me company?” There was an edge to Kowalski’s words but he didn’t have the energy to try and hide it.

“Benny didn’t want you to be alone.” Vecchio stepped forward so that Kowalski could see his face. The man looked tired and he was still wearing the clothes that Kowalski last remembered seeing him in.

“And when’s the last time you slept Vecchio?”

“Plenty of time to sleep when I’m dead.” Vecchio grinned but then the smile faded. “Benny’s worried himself to a shadow Stan. Do you remember what happened?”

Kowalski closed his eyes. “Just flashes. Enough to give you a statement.”

Vecchio shrugged. “Not my jurisdiction.”

“But it is mine.”

Fraser! Kowalski struggled to sit up but he quickly lost the battle. 

“Ray.” The dark-haired man moved quickly to his lover’s side.

“Hi Ben.” Kowalski smiled and reached out to take Fraser’s hand.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been shot.” Kowalski grimaced.

“Doc’s coming to give you a check-up.” Vecchio put in from the far side of the room.

“I’ll have to go.” Fraser smiled at Kowalski and bent down to place a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Sure Frase.” Kowalski turned his face away. He didn’t want his lover to see the moisture in his eyes or to know how much pain he was in. The last few months, Kowalski reflected, as he watched Fraser and Vecchio leave the room, felt like a dream that he had been abruptly woken from. Somehow nothing felt right anymore and Kowalski squeezed his eyes closed, determined that he wouldn’t let himself cry.

Outside Kowalski’s room Vecchio turned serious eyes on Fraser. “When are you going to tell him?”

“I don’t want to.” Fraser shut his eyes and raised a hand to his face. “Being a policeman is all Ray has ever wanted, all he’s ever known. I don’t want to take that away from him.”

“He still has you,” Vecchio pointed out. “You don’t think that will be enough?”

Fraser folded his arms across his chest. “I don’t know.”

Vecchio reached out awkwardly to comfort his friend. “If he loves you Benny, it’ll be enough.”

Fraser turned his face away and blinked back tears. The marriage ceremony that he had organised with such hope and joy in his heart should have taken place today and now it seemed that the future that he had planned had been ripped away with just one gunshot. Just a few hours earlier while Kowalski was lying unconscious in his hospital bed a solemn-faced doctor had told Fraser that even if Ray did recover he would never be able to return to work as a policeman. Aware of just how much Ray treasured his identity as a cop Fraser knew that the news would come as a serious blow to the man and knowledge of Ray’s volatile temperament told him that the fallout would likely destroy their relationship but Fraser knew that despite this the news had to come from him. He needed to be there to talk to Ray, to hold his hand while the news sunk in and maybe his presence would remind Ray of the love the two men had for each other, the love that Fraser knew should be enough to see them through anything.

Vecchio stood, watching as emotions played across Fraser’s face and he reached out a hand. “You’re going to talk to him?”

“I have to.”

“I’ll get us some coffee.” Vecchio smiled at his friend and then hurried away, feeling like a heel but knowing that he had no place in the conversation that Fraser and Kowalski were about to have.

“Constable Fraser.” 

“Doctor McBeth. How is he?” Fraser greeted the slight man with a nod of his head.

“Better than I would have expected.” The doctor smiled. “He’s in a lot of pain at the moment but we’re managing that with the help of morphine. If he continues to improve he’ll be transferred to a Chicago hospital in just a few days.”

“Thank you.”

As soon as he entered the room Fraser could tell that the morphine was already beginning to have an effect. There was a grin on Kowalski’s face that hadn’t been there previously and he gestured impatiently to Fraser.

“Hey Benton buddy.”

“Ray.” Fraser paused, unsure whether now was really the time to break the news to his lover. “I need to tell you something.”

“Sure thing Frase.”

Fraser seated himself awkwardly on the edge of Kowalski’s bed and took the man’s hand in his, needing the connection. “We’ll be going back to Chicago soon.”

“Great, get back to our apartment, back to work, back to normal, back to back, back to black.” Ray giggled and Fraser tightened his grip.

“Ray you won’t be going back to work.”

“Well obviously not for a while. Doc said I need physio, that’ll take a few weeks.”

“No Ray. You won’t ever be going back to being a detective.”

There was brief comprehension in Ray’s blue eyes and then the morphine hit again and he smiled. “Sleepy now. Talk later.”

“Yes we will.” Fraser stood up as Ray’s eyes fell closed.  
__________________________

“How did it go?” Vecchio handed Fraser a cup and when the Mountie peered at it suspiciously added. “It’s tea.”

Fraser shrugged. “I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I don’t know.”  
______________________________

The transfer back to Chicago went without a hitch and everyone at the hospital seemed delighted with the man’s progress. Fraser was too, but a shadow hung over him, knowing that at some point he would again have to broach the subject of Ray’s career. He buried his worry as deeply as he could inside himself while he tried to concentrate on helping Ray recover. Nobody but Vecchio saw the burden that Fraser was carrying and the cop did the only thing that he could think of, which was to simply be there for Fraser. Combining doing his job, along with providing a taxi service to and from the hospital for Fraser was proving to be exhausting and when Francesca spoke to him about he, tried to suggest that maybe he should back off a little, that Fraser would understand, Ray had snapped at her.

“He’s my friend Frannie and he’d do the same for me.”

Ray even extended his taxi service to include transporting Kowalski home from the hospital, although he refused the invitation to come in.

“Thanks but Ma’s expecting me. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thank you.” Fraser smiled warmly. “For everything.”

“Just don’t let it have been in vain.” Vecchio jerked his head in the direction of Kowalski who was easing himself down onto the couch.

Fraser closed the door on his friend and turned to Ray with a bright smile. “Would you like something to eat? Soup?”

“I’m not hungry.” Kowalski was frowning. “You said something to me when I was in the hospital in Canada.”

“I said a lot of things.” Fraser fought against the sense of unease building in his chest and he moved to sit down next to Ray, his Ray.

“I can’t go back to work?” Pain in those blue eyes and a tremor to the voice.

“No.” Fraser felt numb but he reached out towards Ray. “No, you can’t.”

“Okay.” Kowlaski drew back, and then stood a little stiffly and walked across to the bedroom. “I’m tired. Goodnight.”

Fraser couldn’t bring himself to reply, instead he let his hand dig down into Diefenbaker’s fur, drawing comfort from his wolf. He listened to the sounds of Ray getting ready for bed, the creak of the bed as he climbed in but Fraser didn’t move until at last he fell into an uneasy sleep.  
________________________________

“I’m sorry.” 

The muttered words brought Fraser awake with a jerk.

“Ray.” He scrubbed sleep out of his eyes and saw that the man was standing, fully dressed and with a duffel bag at his feet.

“I need to think.” Ray refused to meet Fraser’s eyes. “What I’m going to do, who I’m going to be. I don’t know anymore.”

/Marry me, be my husband. I need you/ but Fraser didn’t speak the words out loud. “Where are you going?”

“To a hotel. I need a few days Fraser that’s all.”

Wincing, Ray closed his hand around the handle of his bag.

“Let me help you.”

“No.” 

“Your physio..”

“I’ll make the appointments. And I’ll see you in a few days.” Kowalski turned to leave, hurrying through the door and pulling it closed, before Fraser had even had the time to stand up.

Alone Fraser stood and leant his head against the wood of the door. He had known this was coming but it still hurt and so silently the tears streamed down his face.


	20. Eight Months Later

“Any news?” Ray Vecchio asked as he climbed out of his car.

“No. Nobody has heard from him.” Fraser settled his hat on his head, doing his best to smile at his friend. It had been eight months since Ray Kowalski had walked out of their apartment and Fraser was beginning to lose hope that he would ever see the man again.

“How is life at the consulate?”

“It’s handy for work.” Fraser shrugged. “Diefenbaker seems to like it.”

“Well if the wolf approves it must be good.” Vecchio smiled wistfully. He’d helped Fraser move out of his apartment just two months previously. The Mountie no longer wanted to be there and Vecchio couldn’t exactly blame him. “Where is Dief?”

“He’s sulking.” Fraser frowned. “He misses Ray.”

“As much as you do?” Vecchio gave Fraser’s arm a friendly squeeze. “Are you sure you want to go looking for him today?”

“I have to.”

Fraser and Vecchio had been searching for Kowalski for a long time now. Searching hospitals, hostels, churches. Every week they tried somewhere different. Fraser was sure that something must have happened to stop Kowalski from coming back to him but Vecchio wondered if perhaps the man had simply decided he didn’t want to come back, but of course he didn’t have the heart to say this to Fraser.

Vecchio shrugged. “I hope you find him.” He tried to put hope and enthusiasm into his voice but he’d been saying the same thing for months and he was worried about Fraser. Ever since Kowalski had walked out on him the Mountie had seemed lost somehow. While at work the man preserved an air of competency, performing his duties to his usual high standard but in private it was a different story. Vecchio could see the toll Ray’s absence was taking in every line on Fraser’s face and he felt deeply for his friend.

“I could use your help Benny. If you’ve got time.”

“Always.” Fraser smiled and Vecchio grinned back. Maybe a little distraction would be good for the man.

“I’m going undercover.” Vecchio grimaced. “Hence the clothes.”

For the first time Fraser actually looked at his friend. Instead of his usual sharp suits he was wearing a motley assortment of clothes most of which looked as though he had found them in the garbage.

“As a scarecrow?”

Vecchio grinned. “There’s been a series of illegal fights taking place in the city. Dead bodies are piling up. I want to put a stop to it.”

“No one else has done anything?” Fraser looked very concerned and silently Vecchio congratulated himself at having found something to stop the man from dwelling on thoughts of his absent lover.

“The bodies are all John Does.” Vecchio shrugged. “These men are homeless, nameless. Nobody cares.”

“Except for you.”

“Someone’s making a lot of money out of these fights, out of other people’s misery. We need to stop them.”

Fraser nodded slowly. “What are we waiting for?”

__________________________________________

The line to the door of the homeless shelter was a long one. Those at the back knew that they would be unable to claim a bed and would have to face a night on the streets but at least they would do it with a hot meal inside them. The spring night air was chilly and the sound of men banging their hands together and stamping their feet in an effort to promote circulation reverberated up and down the line.

Midway along one man stood in utter silence. He had a hat pulled down low over his eyes and his hands were shoved deep into his coat pockets. Blue eyes unfocused the man seemed lost in a world of his own and he jumped when someone laid a hand on his shoulder. 

“Word is you’re a cop.” The voice was low, husky but young and the man who was addressed hunched his shoulders and glared suspiciously into the night.

“Used to be.” He answered reluctantly, wondering how exactly that piece of information had escaped. “Now I’m just a guy without a home, like you.”

“I need your help.”

With a sigh the man turned to face his new acquaintance. He saw honest brown eyes set in a wide genial face. The signs of deprivation were marked but lightly, the innocence of youth had not yet been taken from him.

“How old are you?”

“Eighteen.”

The man turned his face away again and, still buried in his pockets, his hands clenched into fists. In all the months living on the streets he had heard so many stories to account for the ruined lives around him but the younger they were the more he found it hurt, the more he wished he could save them.

/“Look at you,” he would admonish himself afterwards. “I can’t save myself, how the hell am I going to help these kids.”\

“I’m Paul.” The young man reached out to grab the older man’s arm.

“Stanley.” Kowalski forced a smile. “C’mon.”

The two men walked away from the line and Kowalski led the way to a nearby bar where he knew he wouldn’t be turned away.

“So?” He’d managed to find enough coins to buy them both a coffee and he sat, aware of the eyes on him, knowing that they didn’t have long before some idiot, in an effort to impress his friends, would start ragging on the homeless guys.

“I’ve been sleeping over on West Belmont. There’s a whole group of us.”

“Your age?”

“Escapees from Children’s Services. Older ones like me stick around to help the newcomers.”

“And?”

“Some of the older guys have been going missing. One day they’re around, the next no one knows what’s happened to them.”

“Maybe they’ve moved on. It happens.” Kowalski frowned, the young man’s voice betrayed his education and Kowalski began to wonder just how it was that someone like this ended up on the streets.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Paul had guessed Kowalski’s thoughts and he turned his face away.

“So where do you think they’ve gone?”

“I don’t know but..” Whatever Paul had been about to say was interrupted as a meaty hand descended on his shoulder and jerked him to his feet.

“Fellas.” Ray too had stood up and moved round the table, closer to Paul.

“You two are a bit lost I think.” The man who had hold of Paul smirked. “You should be at a dump somewhere.”

“The clientele would be better.” Kowalski agreed, smiling as he brought his hand down hard on the other man’s arm forcing him to release his hold on Paul. After that he wasn’t sure what had happened. He did know that he had grabbed Paul and done his best to keep him out of the line of fire as he fought his way out of the bar. Outside the two men ran a short distance until Ray, breathing hard, was forced to stop.

“Not bad.” 

The unknown voice made Ray drop into a defensive crouch, once more preparing to fight.

“You’re a fighter.” A well-dressed man stepped into the light of a nearby street lamp. “I run a small club,” he went on blithely, “and a man like you could earn quite a bit of money there.”

“What would I have to do?”

“Just fight.” The man assured him. “I set up my little club to help people like you. No home, no money, no food.”

On cue Kowalski’s stomach grumbled and the well-dressed man’s smile widened. “You’d both be very welcome. If you come now I can even make sure you get a meal.”

Kowalski’s cop instincts were screaming at him and so he nodded. “Sure why not.”

______________________________________________________

There was an excitement in the crowd, a buzz that Fraser imagined would prove to be quite intoxicating to anyone who was there for enjoyment. Fraser moved grim-faced towards the centre of the club. There were a number of smaller fights taking place in traditional boxing rings but Fraser was interested in seeing where the big money fights were taking place. He had left Vecchio working his way in as one of the homeless, to gather as much information as possible.

“I’ve heard Rawlings has found someone new.” The hushed words caught Fraser’s attention. “Supposedly this guy will make a great fight.”

“You think he’ll win?”

“There’s a very good chance he will.”

Fraser resumed working his way towards the metal cage. The man who had spoken first was one of Rawlings’ employees, trying to encourage the punters to make big bets.

One of the professional fighters was already in the cage. He looked bored, Fraser thought.

Suddenly the noise in the room died away and Fraser could see that a man was being led through the crowd. But it wasn’t until the man entered the cage that Fraser saw his face.

Ray! Inadvertently the Mountie dug his fingers through the mesh. Automatically be began to catalogue the changes he could see, the lines on the face, the hair that had been roughly trimmed almost to the scalp and the emaciated frame but it was Ray and a lump rose in Fraser’s throat.

A sharp intake of breath from the man standing to his left caught Fraser’s attention and reluctantly he tore his eyes away from Ray. There was a look of consternation on the face of the young man who, like Fraser, had his fingers hooked through the iron mesh.

“You know him?”

“He’s here because of me.” The teenager spoke in a low voice and he barely glanced at Fraser. “I asked for his help and now he’s going to get beaten to a pulp just like all the others and it’s all my fault.” Worried brown eyes focused on Fraser’s face. “My friends have been disappearing and I heard someone say he was a cop. I thought he might help me.” There was a pause. “Who are you?”

“I used to be his partner.”

A bell rang and the bored look on the champion’s face disappeared as he stalked towards Ray. Fraser almost cheered as the ex-cop ducked the first blow and then aimed carefully to bring the burly fighter to his knees. There was shouting all around him but Fraser didn’t hear any of it. Maybe Ray could win the fight after all. But then, just as his opponent regained his feet, Ray caught sight of Fraser. The distraction lasted long enough to allow the other fighter to flatten Ray with one vicious punch. Fraser watched helpless as Ray’s attacker advanced on the unconscious man, obviously intending to finish the job. Then a stentorian voice bellowed. “Chicago PD, everybody freeze.” Chaos descended and Fraser was swept away from Ray by the crowd.

It was sometime later that Vecchio found Fraser standing amidst a group of detainees and identified his friend to the two uniformed cops who were watching over them.

“Time to go Benny.” Vecchio looked tired but satisfied. 

Back to the consulate. Fraser tried to smile at his friend but he couldn’t. Back to his life without Ray.

The cop and the mountie had to pick their way past a dejected line of the homeless in order to get out of the club. Most of them were slumped on the floor and all sported cuts and bruises, clear indication of why they had been present in the club.

Fraser scanned all the faces in desperation and Vecchio, noticing his friend’s preoccupation but not knowing the reason commented. “You can’t save them all Benny.”

“How about just one.” Fraser crouched down and with a hand that shook he reached out to remove the hat of the man in front of him. “Hello Ray.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is one more chapter and an epilogue left which will be posted as soon as I can


	21. Chapter 21

Uncertain blue eyes peered out of a mass of bruises and a trembling hand, that was as bruised and bloodied as the face, stretched out to touch Fraser’s face.

“Stan?” There was shock in Vecchio’s voice, he had been so convinced that he would never see the ex-cop again. “Why are you here?”

“I was trying to help someone.” Kowalski’s voice was barely a whisper and he winced in pain although his eyes never left Fraser’s face.

There were tears in the Mountie’s eyes, tears which he didn’t try to wipe away. “You’ve come back to me?” 

“About a month ago I went to the apartment. There was a woman there, she wasn’t very pleased to see me.” A pause. “Figured you’d decided to move on.” There was a tremor to his voice. “Couldn’t blame you.”

“I couldn’t stay there anymore, too many memories. Every time I remembered you weren’t there it hurt.”

“I’m sorry.” Ray hung his head. “I’m sorry I didn’t think about you.”

“Fraser’s been living at the consulate. You could have come and found him there.” Vecchio said. “Why didn’t you?”

“Ray, not now.” Fraser looked at Vecchio and shook his head.

“He’s right Ben and it’s a fair question.” Kowalski looked up at Vecchio who was scowling down at him. “I thought that Fraser had moved on and I didn’t feel that I had the right to come after him, to cause him anymore pain.”

“As opposed to all the pain that he’s been in since the day you left you mean?”

“If I could take it back I would.” Kowalski answered calmly. “Every night since I’ve wished that I had made a different decision.”

Vecchio crossed his arms and glared at Kowalski. “I don’t want Benny hurt again Stanley. You make a decision now and you have to stick to it.”

“It’s just.. I don’t..” Kowalski stammered and he looked straight into Fraser’s eyes.

“I know.” Gentle fingers touched the bruises on Ray’s face. “I know.”

“Where are we going?” Fraser had helped Kowalski to his feet and the man swayed. “I don’t feel so good.”

“Hospital.” Vecchio stated bluntly. “Probably for a few days.”

“No!” Kowalski’s grip on Fraser’s arm tightened. “I want to be with you.”

Fraser was silently appraising him and although he had waited for this moment he couldn’t stop the hiss of pain that escaped his lips when Fraser kissed him. Despite the pain he deepened the kiss, opening his mouth and thrusting his tongue into Fraser’s mouth. Gentle hands were pushing him back and reluctantly Kowalski broke the kiss.

“Could you give us a moment?”

“Sure.” Vecchio moved away a short distance and gave the impression of being extremely fascinated by the wall.

“Ray.” Fraser caught hold of Kowalski’s hand and brought it down to his groin so that Ray could feel his lover’s erection. “All I want to do right now is take you away. I want to take you somewhere you’ll feel safe and make love to you but,” and here Fraser locked his gaze with Kowalski’s, willing the man to look into his eyes and recognise the sincerity and love that lay behind his words. “You’re hurt. Please let me take you to a hospital.”

“You know Frase,” Kowalski almost sounded his old self again. “When I left I said I didn’t know who I was anymore.”

“I remember.” Fraser tilted his head to one side and smiled at Kowalski. “Did you come to any conclusions?”

“We had that conversation and all I could think about was the number of times I failed.”

“Ray you’re not..”

“Please.” Kowalski put a finger to Fraser’s lips. “Just hear me out.”

“Understood.”

“I failed as a son. I dropped out of college and went off to become a cop. My dad was so angry, I let him down Fraser. My first failure.” Kowalski paused and for a wonder Fraser remained silent. “I failed as a husband. I couldn’t keep Stella, couldn’t make her happy. My second failure. But the one thing that kept me going was that I was a cop. My personal life was going to hell in a handcart but at least I could still make a difference.” Kowalski looked into Fraser’s eyes. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

When Fraser failed to reply Kowalski grinned. “You can talk now Frase.”

“Thank you kindly and I do understand Ray. I’ve always known how important being a policeman is to you.”

“So when you told me.. um..” Kowalski stuttered. “When you told me that I couldn’t be a cop anymore it felt like my identity had just been ripped away. Sometimes,” Kowalski was aware that he was rambling but he didn’t seem able to stop himself, “when you’re undercover you feel disconnected, as though you’re not even a real person anymore but the reality of your assignment is there, it grounds you. So when I walked out that’s how I felt. But there was no assignment, no connection to reality. I think for a while I forgot that I was real. You ever feel like that?”

“Occasionally.” Fraser touched Ray’s cheek. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”

“I wanted to but by the time I’d worked it out it was too late. You’d gone from the apartment and I realised that you’d moved on and maybe I should too.” A tear slid down Kowalski’s cheek at the memory and Fraser caught it, brushing his thumb gently across the bruised face in front of him. “Then I saw you outside that cage, looking right at me and I realised that what really mattered was us. Even the cop thing pales into insignificance next to you Fraser.”

“So,” Fraser looked at Ray and there was hope shining in his eyes. “Are you coming back to me?”

“If you’ll have me.”

Fraser nodded sharply and drew the other man into an embrace, it was short-lived however as Kowalski cried out in pain and was abruptly released.

“You know Frase,” Kowalski said with a grimace. “A hospital sounds really good right about now.”


	22. Chapter 22

All together Kowalski was in hospital for two weeks. His many and varied injuries would, on their own, have won him a weeklong stay but the thing that really seemed to concern the medics was his being seriously underweight as well as his mental state. The first night in hospital he had woken everybody with his shouting and once awake had become so insistent that he needed to leave, that the doctors had been forced to sedate him. Faced with an almost comatose lover and after listening carefully to a description of what had happened Fraser had from that point on steadfastly refused to leave Ray’s side. He slept in the chair next to Kowalski’s hospital bed and in the mornings the nurses would often find them asleep with their fingers entwined as though neither could bear to be apart from the other.

Occasionally however the pair were separated. Fraser made a particular point each day to spend time with Vecchio and Diefenbaker. While hospital staff had bent the rules to allow Fraser to stay they had stood firm when it had come to the question of his wolf. Vecchio had offered to take Diefenbaker in and Fraser, in return, made a special point of spending time with them.

On this occasion Fraser returned to the hospital to find Kowalski with a grin plastered on his face. “Doc says I can leave tomorrow.”

“On the proviso that you continue with your rehabilitation programme.” A nurse, on her way out of the door, commented. 

Kowalski made a face and Fraser turned to the nurse. “I’ll make sure of it.” He assured her, giving her what Kowalski always thought of as his lady-killing smile. The nurse smiled back and Kowalski interrupted the moment gruffly. 

“He’s taken.”

The nurse flashed Kowalski a wry smile and went on her way.

“Wow, she’s pretty!” The exclamation came from Vecchio, making his way towards Kowalski’s hospital room. “I have news.” The cop had his notebook in one hand and he was looking very pleased with himself. Fraser was about to close the door when a furry body inserted itself into the gap.

“Dief!” Kowalski exclaimed in delight and with a gentle ‘wuff’ the wolf settled himself down on the bed.

“I couldn’t leave him in the car,” Vecchio explained. “But I’ve been asking questions about your young friend.” He fixed Kowalski with a stare.

“Paul? What’d you find out?”

“Well for a start his surname is Griffin. Only son of one of the richest families in Illinois. Three years ago Paul got taken into care after his parents died in a car crash.”

“He didn’t have any other family to take him?”

“Only an uncle on his mother’s side and he wasn’t interested in helping.”

Kowalski’s expression was sombre. “So the kid ends up in foster care. That’s a bit of a shitty deal.”

“Not the worst of it either. Paul spent a few months bouncing between foster homes, never got settled until one day he just disappears.”

“Poor kid.”

Vecchio smiled. “Not so poor anymore. He’s eighteen now, old enough to inherit the money his family left him.”

“You’ve seen him?”

“Yeah, he’s doing well. He’s busy setting up a hostel for homeless kids. He said hi.” Vecchio snapped his notebook shut with a satisfied smirk.

“Thank you.” Kowalski smiled at Vecchio.

“Well,” Vecchio paused and pulled his overcoat closer around him. “Time to be going.” Diefenbaker whined a protest but after giving Kowalski’s hand a lick he jumped down from the bed. “Fraser I just need a quick word.”

“I won’t be long,” Fraser promised his lover with a reassuring pat of his hand before following his friend from the room.

Outside in the corridor Vecchio dug a hand into a pocket. “I know Stan won’t be here much longer.”

“They’re letting him go tomorrow.” Fraser interjected happily.

“Perfect timing then.” Vecchio held an envelope out. “I wanted to do something for you and Stanley and I figured that you don’t have anywhere to go where you can be alone. So I booked you a hotel room. Yours for as long as you need it.”

“Ray!” Fraser took the envelope and stared, momentarily speechless, at his friend. “I don’t know how to thank you.”

Vecchio grinned. “All you have to do Benny is make sure things work out between you and Stan. Don’t let him go. Promise me.”

“I promise.” Fraser overwhelmed by his friend’s gesture pulled the man into a quick hug. “Thank you.”

“No problem Benny.”

__________________________________________________

As promised the next day Kowalski was discharged and Fraser, aware that the man had no possessions to speak of, produced a bag of new clothes for him to choose from.

“You look good.” The Mountie commented when Kowalski emerged from the bathroom.

Ray grinned. “So where to now Frase?”

“Vecchio booked us a hotel room..”

_________________

“The honeymoon suite,” Ray whistled as he pushed open the door. “This must cost a fortune.” There was a small box on a table close to the door and Ray riffled through the contents. There was a card and the man blushed as he read it. “From Vecchio. Lubricant and condoms. Seems pretty sure what we’ll be doing.”

“Are you?” Fraser asked, taking the box from Ray and placing it by the bed.

“I wouldn’t be here otherwise.” Ray smiled. “You know we can skip the condoms.”

“Ray?”

“I mean they tested me for everything going while I was in hospital and I know you’re clean.” Ray ran his hands through his hair and turned to face Fraser, a indefinable look on his face.

Fraser pushed the door closed with one foot and then reached out for Ray, pulling him close and kissing him. Without relinquishing his hold on Ray’s lips Fraser guided him over to the bed and gently pushed the man down. Normally deft fingers were suddenly clumsy as they struggled to undo the laces on Ray’s boots. But once feet were free of both boots and socks Fraser bent to kiss them, although he was careful to avoid the toes and soles, remembering well just how ticklish Ray’s feet were.

“Not that I’m complaining,” Ray murmured as Fraser kissed his feet again, “but there are other parts of me that could do with some attention.”

Fraser looked up, eyes wide with desire and then he crawled along the length of Ray’s body and set his fingers to undoing the buckle on his belt. It was all so overwhelming, he realised, as he fumbled with the button fly. Being with Ray after so long apart was almost too much for the normally collected Mountie to bear and it was with trembling hands that Fraser drew Ray’s pants down past his hips.

“Ben!” But despite the growl from Ray Fraser ignored the man’s erection and instead turned his attention to Ray’s lower legs. His fingers dug into muscles and Ray groaned. It had been a long time since anyone had touched him like this, with such love and attention to his needs.

Fraser was kissing his way up Ray’s legs and as he reached the thighs the man shuddered and dug his fingers into Fraser’s thick dark hair. His intended plan to slowly strip his partner naked was disrupted when Ray, with a groan, thrust his groin upwards.

“Please Frase, please!”

It was impossible to resist that entreaty and so Fraser carefully freed his lover’s erection from the confines of his boxers and slid his mouth over the shaft. Fraser could feel his own cock straining against the denim of his trousers but continued to focus all his attention on Ray. The man was gasping now, wordless sounds escaping him and Fraser felt himself swept away on a tide of sensations. The feel of Ray’s cock in his mouth, the taste of him, the fingers tangled in his hair and the familiar shuddering that told him Ray was close to climaxing. In response Fraser took Ray even deeper into his mouth and then as a strangled cry burst from Ray’s mouth Fraser gladly swallowed down mouthful after mouthful of cum until the man went still beneath him.

“You’re still fully dressed.” Ray pointed out weakly.

“So I am.” Fraser pushed himself off the bed and quickly stripped.

Ray lazily stretched out a hand and Fraser closed the gap between them eager for his lover’s kiss. It was languid and slow but passionate too and Fraser smiled into it, he was finally beginning to believe that it was true, that he was really once more with Ray.

“I want to make love to you.” Fraser pulled back to look Ray in the eyes and so he didn’t miss the flash of fear. Ardour retreated a little and Fraser concerned, propped himself up on one elbow. “Did something happen to you while we were apart?”

“No.” The relief that Fraser felt at that one little word was immense. “It’s been a long time that’s all.” The expression on Ray’s face was serious but he raised one hand and with a finger traced the contours of Fraser’s face.

“I’ll be gentle.” Fraser promised. His fingers trailed down Ray’s body and curled themselves around his slowly hardening cock while his other hand reached off the bed for the tube of lubricant. When Fraser’s slick fingers dove down Ray’s body to prepare him there was a momentary freezing in the ex-cop’s posture and Fraser, ready to push a finger into Ray, hesitated.

“Need you, please.” Ray stuttered. “Please!”

Fraser complied, thrusting two fingers into Ray and the man beneath him cried out in pleasure. Fraser bent down to kiss his lover and then, fumbling a little, he prepared himself quickly. This might as well have been his first time with Ray he felt so nervous and so it was with trembling hands that he arranged Ray limbs and lined himself up ready to breach Ray’s body. A small moan escaped Ray’s lips and Fraser, taking it as a sign that the man was ready for him, pushed into Ray. Holding himself still for a moment while the body beneath him relaxed Fraser could feel the tears of happiness threatening and he blinked them back. He needn’t have worried about Ray seeing him cry as the man’s eyes were closed, hands clenched into fists lying beneath his head.

“Sometime this week Frase.” Ray gasped out and with a small smile Fraser began to thrust into Ray. It was hard to hold back and it seemed as though the world had shrunk so that it only held the two men. Each thrust drew a ragged cry from Ray’s lips and Fraser, all correctness, politeness and restraint swept away, plunged into Ray as deeply as possible. The climax was in actual his least favourite part. What he enjoyed most of all was the sensation of Ray all around him and the knowledge that for a short time he and his lover were as one. But it had been a long time since he had last held Ray like this and his ability to delay his climax was compromised. As sensations intensified, driving him towards his release Fraser found that the world had shrunk even further to contain only him. He was thrusting harder now and then he cried out as he came, a wordless cry and slowly the world began to reassert itself. Gently he pulled away from Ray who smiled at him gently.

“Love you Ben.”

“I love you too.” Fraser responded softly and then he was crying, gulping out sobs which only increased when he saw that Ray was also crying. They clung together until the tears stopped.

“We need to talk.”

“Now?” Ray hooked a leg across Fraser, drawing them together.

Blue eyes serious Fraser said, “I need to know what you want, from me.”

“More sex would be nice,” the man responded with a suggestive grin. “Although I need a few minutes to recover first.”

“And in the future?”

Ray’s expression darkened. “I haven’t thought about it.” He admitted. “Haven’t thought about it since I walked out on you.”

“We’re together now.” Fraser coaxed. “You’re safe with me.”

Ray smiled and reached out to stroke Fraser’s face. “I want you,” he said solemnly. “And I want kids.” The man looked away but Fraser reached out and drew him in for a kiss.

“I don’t,” he started and could feel Ray tense next to him. “I don’t want to be the kind of father I had. If we have children I want to be there for all the important moments, for all of you.”

“Ok,” Ray smiled, sleep was rising up to claim him but he still had just enough energy to reach down and pull the quilt over himself and his lover. “ok.”


	23. Epilogue

“Uncle Ray! Uncle Ray!” Two boys, one dark and one fair were racing down the path towards the road. The man, climbing out of the green Buick Rivera, grinned at them and took care to make sure that he was on the garden side of the gate before the two small tornados reached him. “Uncle Ray!” The boys flung their arms around him and he bent down to tousle their hair.

“Hey Robin, hey Stevie.” Vecchio picked them up, one boy tucked under each arm and turned his steps towards the large white house that dominated the plot in which it stood. The front door was open and Vecchio walked through into a spacious hall calling out. “I think I’ve got something that belongs to you.”

“Put us down Uncle Ray.” The boys pleaded and obediently Vecchio lowered them gently back onto their feet. They took off then and slightly more sedately the man followed into the kitchen.

“Ray!” The man by the sink turned, ready with a beaming smile to welcome his old friend and Vecchio stepped forward to hug him.

“It’s good to see you Vecchio.” Kowalski, with a towel draped over his shoulder, entered the room smiling widely. “Stevie hasn’t talked about anything else but your visit for a week.”

“Dad says Stevie could talk the hind leg off a donkey.” The dark-haired Robin said, looking at Vecchio with serious eyes. “But I asked Daddy what that meant and he said that talking wasn’t enough to remove actual body parts, that you would really need a big knife.”

“What have you been saying to our son?” A scandalised Fraser glared at Kowalski who merely shrugged.

Vecchio smirked. “Ah domestic bliss. Rather you than me.”

Kowalski smiled at that and walked over to wind an arm around Fraser.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way.” Fraser declared happily as he turned to kiss his husband.

The end


End file.
